beauty1234
Your WS / WH affair lasted how long?
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surviving
Prostitutes/massage parlors - several years
Emotional affairs - over 34 years
Physical affair - for 14 years

All of that was unknown to me.  I now know that the mistreatment towards me was because of the affairs and porn use.  Is there hope?  Not yet and we are 4 years and 6 months from DDay.
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Keepabuzz
6 months. I was unaware until her confession a month after she ended her affair. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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Trinity
1 month.  I found out via txt messages.  Not sure if HE would have told me.... I don't think that he would have.

"T"
BS - DDay July 2017

O GOD, take me, break me, make me. 
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BrokenHearted
2+ years (still waiting for a more definitive answer from him. He claims they were just friends, then something changed, but I don't know when. BTW she was my friend too for over 14 years). He left his phone in the bathroom and a text came in from OW. So I discovered it. I know he would have never told me. She convinced him that I would never find out, and even if I did, I wouldn't care. Boy were they both WRONG in so many ways!
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MITM
4 months that I know of.
Male BS
D-Day Jan 2018
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UrbanExplorer
About 15-16 months, on some level (at least in contact with AP). 
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ThrivenotSurvive
10 months on/off while my husband was having to live in another city to work.  Unfortunately our plans that I join him there were dashed by a string of family issues that I had to stay home and resolve.  

It had technically ended by the time I found out - he’d come home with no plans to return and she was aware.  But they were still texting and occasionally talking on the phone.  

I could tell something was off and asked my husband what was going on and he confessed.  He had thought he could keep the secret and go on with our lives now that we could be together but the secret and the guilt were killing him.  And it was creating a gulf I could feel - but not figure out.  
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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ALRUI
Keepabuzz wrote:
6 months. I was unaware until her confession a month after she ended her affair. 


Same here though I had my suspicions when I asked veiled questions I stupidly believed her!
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MITM
ALRUI wrote:

Same here though I had my suspicions when I asked veiled questions I stupidly believed her!

Please don't be so hard on yourself - it's not stupid to believe someone you're supposed to be able to trust.
Male BS
D-Day Jan 2018
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ALRUI
MattInTheMountains wrote:

Please don't be so hard on yourself - it's not stupid to believe someone you're supposed to be able to trust.


Thanks for that Matt! My wife was the last person on earth youd suspect and she could have done far better then the loser she hooked up with on top of that!
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MITM
ALRUI wrote:

Thanks for that Matt! My wife was the last person on earth youd suspect and she could have done far better then the loser she hooked up with on top of that!

That's the other thing I've found is pretty common.
Male BS
D-Day Jan 2018
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ALRUI
I'm not just calling the guy names, he's now 40 year old who lives in his mothers basement and has no job.
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MITM
ALRUI wrote:
I'm not just calling the guy names, he's now 40 year old who lives in his mothers basement and has no job.

Oh, I completely get it. I'm not name-calling either. 
Seems to be a pattern, wouldn't you say?
Male BS
D-Day Jan 2018
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Trinity

IF the AP is a few steps down from the spouse or themselves then it minimizes rejection.  Kind of like a safe bet.  AND the AP is stepping up so there will probably be a whole lot of EGO stroking which keeps the WS interested.   Just my take on it.  

"T"

 

BS - DDay July 2017

O GOD, take me, break me, make me. 
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