So much growth and healing have taken place in the nine months since my WS agreed to leave her AP and move back home to begin working on rebuilding things, that we recently made the decision to get remarried.
We have been attending a weekly marriage class at our church where we were in a closed group with five other couples. They all had various issues with their marriages, but we were the only ones who were actually divorced and who were dealing with the devastating aftermath of an affair. Our D-day was two and a half years ago and the affair had been going on for close to two years before that. She left me for him and filed for a divorce which was final over a year and a half ago.
However, two weeks ago, at the end of the final session of the marriage course, my wife of almost 40 years and I were married again in a brief ceremony performed by one of the pastors who oversaw the program. It was a surprise to the rest of the group which added a fun and memorable touch. We brought out cupcakes and pink lemonade afterward.
It took a long time to get to this point. A lot of pain, a lot of anger, a lot of tears, a lot of honesty, a lot of humility, a lot of understanding, a lot of patience and a lot of forgiveness. Of course the real restoration is just starting since we now actually have a marriage to restore. But in our case, this does give us a degree of closure and a new starting point with a new loving commitment. In a way it seemed good that we were divorced because it meant our old marriage really was over. We are starting fresh.
I might add that, among other helpful recovery resources, we had some remote coaching from Tim. His expertise and the material he pointed us to were very helpful. My wish for everyone here, especially those who are separated or divorced, is that they could get through this and be able to have a new start like we have. I know that can't always happen, but I wanted to share our story to show that it is possible.