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 Separated but Rebuilding after spouses 2 affairs would it bother you if you saw where he was initiating friendly dialogue text and banter (about the game ) with all the women on game apps? 11  votes

 Yes 11 votes
100%
 No 0 votes
0%
 Not sure 🤔 0 votes
0%
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My husband and I are separated, but still trying to rebuild from his 2 affairs. 
There have been a few setbacks with dishonesty.
We play a scrabble game for years on a phone app.and recently I saw on his where he and the other people he plays in this game - (all women) have dialog going through out the games, it reads as if they are sitting there with each other discussing the moves. 
He initiates the texting - saying things like “ hey thanks for the challenging game - I’m ___ Btw. “
 giving them his name.....
“You are a very worthy opponent” “that was a beautiful move” ....
its a word game for goodness sakes... on a phone app.

This bothered the heck out of me...  Would it bother anyone else out there?  Any insight would help.  Thanks y’all. 
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anthropoidape
Yes, it sounds like he is still fishing for outside connections. 

But I am of the "one affair - probably not fixable but maybe; two affairs - don't even bother trying" mindset. 
Maybe it is okay, maybe it will be okay.

BS, d-day Feb 2017, 16 mth affair.
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Keepabuzz
Yes, it sounds like he is still fishing for outside connections. 

But I am of the "one affair - probably not fixable but maybe; two affairs - don't even bother trying" mindset. 


I feel exactly the same way as you Anthro. If I even get a hint of it, I’m out. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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Vanessa
fool me once, shame on you fool me twice shame on me
or as Carrie Underwood signs "the next time that he cheats it won't be on me!" 

Sadly, yes I think he is seeking other connections - He should be focusing his energy on the marriage, not "fishing" for ego boosting anonymous female cyber connection
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BrokenHearted
Yes! It would bother me tremendously and id have to say no more gaming, period.
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ThrivenotSurvive
Yes.  Tell him that how it makes you feel and that you are uncomfortable with it.  That it is a trigger and it makes you feel like he is still seeking attention from others (however “innocent” it might seem). And that makes you question whether he is really committed to changing and taking responsibility of making you feel safe.  If that doesn’t make him want to stop - just to show you he cares about your feelings and wants you to feel safe - I’d consider it a big red flag.  

He has to understand that things that you might have let “slide” in the past because he’d never given you reason to doubt him are out of the question now.  Things have changed because of his actions and he will have to live with the consequences- just as you do. 
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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