I am 7 month out from D-Day and although the back and forth has lessened, it still happens. Just as you described, one day feeling hopeful and the next feeling hopeless and defeated. I think all of on this site who have been betrayed can totally relate to what you are going through. As Jen put it, IT is really part of the healing process and it takes some time. If I can give you a bit of advise, please do not make any rash decisions right now. There is no sense in trying to figure out anything because so much is going to change. Things will not look the same to you next month and surely not a few more months from now. For me, any decisions that I made right after I found out were certainly clouded and not very advantageous to my marriage or to healing. I am sorry that you had to find your way here but there is a lot of support and understanding available. If you keep reading and posting here you will find some answers and a whole lot of people who know exactly where you are at right now. "T"
BS - DDay July 2017
O GOD, take me, break me, make me.