If you have made a choice regarding your marriage and affair (choosing your spouse, or the affair partner, or losing both), why did you make the choice you made?
I originally chose my AP because I thought there was no choice that I deserved to make. I legitimate thought it was over with my wife, and to be fair to her, I had to let her go. Plus, I was so angry... Later on, as the "relationship" with my AP "deepend" I started realizing that she made a poor comparison to my wife. Near the end of the relationship between me and the AP, I could clearly see that I didn't want it, but how could I break free? I honestly didn't think there was hope to be with my wife. Thankfully, I was wrong.
Do you regret your choice?
I regret choosing my AP, yes. But, I do not regret going back to my wife. I regret ever leaving, taking the coward way out. Interesting though, at the time I chose the AP, I had convinced myself that taking the path with the AP and "making it work" was the high road. What a difference time and clarity can make when you look back. In the thick of things I cannot say I was thinking rationally. I was too busy putting out fires.
Has it been difficult?
Yes. But you know what? I've learned so much about myself, and about my wife. I now appreciate and love and respect her way more than I ever have.
What keeps you committed to that choice?
I am in the process of figuring ME out. I choose me, and as far as I know my wife is part of that plan. In the end, I need to be true to who I am. I need to be aware of myself to act with integrity. That's what keeps me committed.