It has been 4 months since D-Day and my BS has been living with our oldest daughter, less than 10 miles south of our home. She comes here sometimes to get her clothes to take to our daughters house. She also comes to our home on the weekends since it's closer to the church for our Deaf ministry (we work together in the Deaf ministry). But she refuses to move back into the house. We are simultaneously getting our house ready to sell. Once it is sold, my BS tells me that I have to move into an apartment alone while she plans on staying with our oldest daughter for a while longer (or her own apartment).
Ok, I hear it stressed, preached, hounded, and emphasized, “Give her time”. Yet, I read from some counselors, both Christian and non-Christian that in order to start working on the marriage, both have to communicate on working on the marriage, "Separation breeds contentment.". My BS sees our pastor alone and I see him alone, but she has yet to exhibit any progress, well, if I really look at it, there is some progress. She has yet filed for divorce, coming over the weekends (mainly because the church is too far for travel on Sunday morning), and invited me to go to CA this next 2 weeks for our youngest son’s graduation gift.
All that said, which is better to work on the marriage, separated or living in the same home? How can I work on the marriage if she is not here. I have read 13 books since D-Day all dealing with improving myself, mymarriage, mychildren, myfamily, and all about the betrayed spouses pain and psychology: Please anyone of you that are in my shoes or have been in my shoes or those that have not been in my shoes where the BS stayed in the home with the WS, please give me insight as to what to do. thank you.