stormyshay Show full post »
Nobody has the right to tell another person to stay away from the church. They don't own the church and your AP is as much at fault as you, so they have no right.

Whilst you say you can't seperate the soccer team and all those other things .... consider this. It will be much more difficult for your BH to heal while there is so much potential contact with the APs family.

You can decide to stick to your guns on this, but this is ultimately what could lead to the end of your marriage. You're trying to work through things... but as time goes by and your BH unavoidably bumps into your ex AP, then it will hit him that YOU brought this situation on and resentment will build for ruining what should have been (for example) an enjoyable day watching your DD play soccer .... but has turned into anxiety and distress because your AP is there. It will ruin what are meant to be good memories.

So decide what's more important to you. A half hour drive to avoid contact or a lifetime (maybe another 8 years) of triggering for your BH.

I knew a BW who was neighbours with the OW. They lived in a cul De sac and she had to pass the OWs house every day she went out. Her WS refused to move. Even when she asked "how would you feel walking passed the house of a man who I had an affair with and who performed oral sex in our house". His response was "I'd be okay"

Just think about it from your BHs viewpoint and imagine you were the BW.. bumping into the OW.... could you cope? Would you be able to heal?
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