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Sorry
Good news. I am almost out of my knee brace and crutches. 

Yet again these set backs give me further opportunity to appreciate the simple things in life like the ability to carry things and walk.

My husband has been amazing
 Driving me to work and running the house.

Sometimes the darkest moments really do allow true lofe to shine.
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ThrivenotSurvive
That is great to hear! 

It's one of the oddities of this situation that sometimes our spouses become even better partners through the growth and self-discovery that takes place after.  I mean my husband had always been a "nice" guy who could be thoughtful and sweet.  But it was often hard for him to put himself in other people's shoes and at times, he could find it hard to have much compassion for people who were from radically different backgrounds or didn't share his same values.  Now, he's much more humble - more willing to see other's wounds, scars - the things they've overcome.  It makes for a gentler, kinder, more compassionate person.  And one who is far more sensitive to my needs.  

But there are times that it is a bitter pill to swallow that we got to this good place through such a painful, ugly experience.  Could there have been no other way my husband could have learned self-reflection and growth?  Could there have been no other way for me to see that others don't always have the capacity to understand their own needs much less tell you about them?  

Life is such an odd mixture of beauty, joy and pain.
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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UrbanExplorer
I'm more than 3 years out from my affair as well. It seems ridiculous in hindsight, such a disaster. I really was lost.

My marriage is better and more honest than it ever was. It's essentially normal from day to day. I still work on the shame in therapy, but I'm taking better care of myself and the people around me. I'm more realistic about marriage now. 
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Sorry
Thanks for that feedback. I sometimes feel like a unicorn so cool to have you here too
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UrbanExplorer
Sorry wrote:
Thanks for that feedback. I sometimes feel like a unicorn so cool to have you here too


I've been in and out over the years because I know there are mostly BS here, but there are a few of us who've had a true reckoning and made it through with a stable marriage. 
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MC
Sorry wrote:
Thanks for that feedback. I sometimes feel like a unicorn so cool to have you here too


I admire the courage of WS like you who are on this forum.  Many thanks for your insight.  It has really helped me.
________________
Male BS
D-Day 3.15.2017


Taking care of myself, as we all deserve to do.
Encouraging all to bolster their: Emotional Health, Physical Health and Spiritual Health
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JORGE
Very glad to read this Sorry. Don't forget to remember what's normal to you, may not be to your husband. His recovery is his recovery. Despite the significant progress, he may or may not be there. Just wanted to help bring some reality to your promising outlook. It is not to dampen it however, as if you are even uttering the word "normal" it suggests things are moving along just fine and that's fantastic news. 
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notemanj
I have heard that unicorns are especially beautiful and possess great powers. 
Wishing everyone here peace and healing!

Female BS Married 18 yrs
DDay 3/7/2017 through 4/2019 and counting. 
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