. I woke up, hopefully not too late, and I am working through this. Let me tell you something though, the hardest thing is going back. Admitting the story I told myself was a lie sold to myself to justify my actions. Facing the hurt, pain, and how broken my family is is almost too much to bear. Being humble and with humility is a bitter, hard pill to swallow. All of my rambling here is just to give you that perspective. Once again, I am the hero of my story, and it's hard to come around to the villainous things I have done. It was almost easier to just stay mad and buy that story I was telling myself. The only problem is, it's like eating sugar puffs for every meal. Great at the beginning, but no nourishment. I hope I made some sense there.
Thank you so much for giving me your perspective on this. I really appreciate it & it makes a lot of sense. I certainly wish my ex-husband would have expressed some humbleness & humility for everything he did. He was more intent on blaming me & justifying the reasons why he had the affair. He also seemed to think that I couldn't really understand how he felt because I've never experienced an affair.
I'm not sure my ex will ever really get to a place where he feels responsible for what he did to me & to our family. I think he will always find a way to justify his actions which is very sad. I'm glad I'm not waiting on any kind of true apology from him. He's become so different to the person I met, fell in love with & married that sometimes I don't recognize him.
I hope you can continue to find a way to work through things. I'm sure it's difficult but at least you seem to want to really try & that says a lot about you.