Keep said it all. Reconciliation is a two person job. There is no chance for it to be successful until both parties are actively working towards it - and no contact with the AP and 100% honesty are the cornerstones. Until you have that, you should move to the 180 and start building a life without her. If she pulls her head out of her **s at some point in the future - you can decide what that means to you at that time. But for now you need to focus on self- preservation and self-care. Remove yourself from the situation to the best of your ability, set firm boundaries and start doing working on YOU. This blows even the most self-assured, self-confident person’s feelings of value to bits. Work to rebuild it in HEALTHY ways that support who you are and who you aspire to be. That is where your power is now. Don’t try to control her or woo her. Focus on rebuilding YOU.
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child DD May 2016 “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl