I feel your pain and I am sorry. I'm dealing spouse that fell into adultery using my failure to be the "perfect" husband. Our marriage was never synchronize and I understand her demand to fix it, until falling into adultery. I have one positive outcome, I walk closely with God now, and my life has a new purpose. We still live under the same roof with our children, however, the marriage is dead. I understand God challenged our meaning of our marriage and He wants to reconcile, but the wife wants no part of it. Try living in a non-existing marriage, you feel different pains than the actual adultery, and they all hurt and tear you up. But I understand God is here and has a purpose, and the pain is mostly numbed.
how long has it been for you? i am so sorry for your situation, i pray everyday that mine will get better but seems to be going on the same path as yours, same house, marriage failing, dont speak much etc. this is NOT what i have been working towards!!!!!!