The important thing to remember about the 180 is that it has to be authentic.
It is where you decide to focus on yourself, independently of your cheating spouse, accepting that they've made a choice to mistreat you and be separate from you, and therefore your decisions are all made with reference to your wellbeing and your own values. What your WS ("wayward spouse" ie cheater) may want or need or desire from you is no longer a factor in your decision-making, no longer something you spend any time or energy on. In other words it is all about self-care and the new reality, a 180 degree turn from how many people (completely understandably) first react to cheating, which is to try to win their cheating spouse back, sympathise with their cheating spouse's terrible struggle, etc. What people say is that once you do the 180, the cheating spouse often realises what they are losing and starts working on fixing the marriage. That may be true but it is not really the 180 if you do it with this as a goal.
Formerly known as Anthropoidape... male bs, long affair, d-day Feb 2017.