I am willing to answer questions as long as I am not attacked or criticized. Remember we were lied to just like you were. We have feelings and are just as devastated when we find out how these men really are.
Thank you for sharing, AH127. This is exactly the kind of open sharing I want to encourage in this forum. And just to assure you, any personal attacks or criticisms will not be tolerated in this community. There is a way for us to disagree (even strongly so) and yet remain respectful and curious.
I have a question for you... Did you know he was married when the affair started? If not, when/how did you find out? If so, why were you willing to take such a risk (knowing how most of these relationships turn out)?
I did know he was married, as was I. We had a friendship that developed into something more serious. Neither of us were in happy marriages, but we stayed for the kids and financial reasons. For him he was also a business partner with his wife and involved in politics. We began the affair knowing we were fulfilling in each other what we were missing in our marriages and never intended on leaving our spouses. Overtime we fell in love, and when my husband found out I didn't want to lose my AP, and he didn't want to lose me. I ended up separating from my husband, and he told me he was going through the steps needed with his business to separate from his wife. When the day came that his wife found out, he completely threw me away.