blyrobin51 Show full post »
Keepabuzz wrote:

I would say that I have changed in this regard. I have zero tolerance for any deception. I will never again mistrust my gut. I now have VERY clear boundaries. All with only one consequence, that I will be gone.  So in the way you have described, I have changed in many ways, although they may be better for my self preservation, they are not so good me in general. I don’t trust anyone, really.  I used to assume the best of people, until proven otherwise. Now I don’t assume the worst, but I do assume everyone is out for themselves, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but at some point everybody puts themselves above others. Now I do too.  I used to be a happy guy, not that my life was perfect, not by a long shot. Certainly didn’t have an ideal childhood, but I was a happy person. Now I’m a sad person, that has become very good at wearing a happy mask most of the time. I don’t think I will ever be that happy guy again, I’m jaded.  

My biggest fear is that my husband feels the same things. To the point where I had to ask him if he did. He was amused by the question and then teased me by telling me how traumatised and unhappy he was but as a joke. I guess with these things you never truly know if there is some truth in the joke.

I think that when he thinks about what o did it definitely still makes him sad and angry,  but for the most part he invests his energy in the present and there's lots less for him to be sad or angry about in the present.
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    I know everyone is different, but I am no where near a point where I am able to make a joke about the atrocities my wife has inflicted upon me. If your husband can, good for him.  I don’t even have a desire to get to that place. It will never be funny.  I find zero humor in this sh!t show I’ve been forced to endure.  
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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