See, this is what I don't understand. In no way did I ever abandon my child. In fact, I did everything possible to make it so my son wouldn't have that much trauma with all of this. (Okay, I had the affair, that was traumatic enough.)
I went through two divorces when I was younger. I saw first hand what it did to my mother, and I understand th confusion a child has with this event.
To me it takes an all time special low to say to your children that the AP is more important than your children. This WS has major issues, even more so than just an affair.
Imagine all of the father out there who have no choice to see their kids because of issues in divorce (I have a friend whose wife cheated on him, got custody of his child, moved across the country and he never sees that child, ever.) I can't fathom what is going in your life.
From the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry you are going through this.
I agree. At no time have I ever thought of leaving my children. Even during my affair, I had the misguided thought that a secret romance was the only way I could stay married for the kids. I'm very sorry for everyone whose WS left the whole family.