BlindCheetah
Until this morning I’ve managed to avoid this whole mess invading my dreams, possibly because I haven’t been sleeping enough to dream much. So last night H wakes me up to apologize for lying because something he read in his cheesy sci-fi made him think. Not great timing but appreciated. This morning I dream H is telling me AP is pregnant, I wake up thinking that would explain why she’s still trying to call him. So I tell him about my horrible dream and he says, “That’s not a dream it’s a f’ing terror.” then resumes snoring.  He was really sweet when he woke up. I’ve really enjoyed all the extra time to catch up with sleep since I currently have no job to go to. Sleep has vastly improved over the last week but I don’t need this $h!t.

Female BS
Married 19 years 
2 tween girls

DDay 10/2019 
Affair 1, 11/2010 to 2/2011
Affair 2, 6/2019 to 12/2019 - Persistent One is still trying to contact him. 

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AnywhereButHere
I hope your experience mirrors mine in this. My wife's AP has only showed up in about 4 dreams over the past two years. And it's mostly been pretty low-level stuff - we're at a party together, etc. Although in one he makes a play for me. I gleefully run off to find my wife and tell her, "Hey Honey, guess what! He's gay!", but I woke up before I could find her.
BH, 5+ Mo EA, DDay 3/8/18
"...regarding all as God after God."
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BlindCheetah
Fortunately I’ve never met her just one horrible FB message conversation. So not a lot of visual dream material. Fortunately the chances of pregnancy are very low with a vasectomy, tubal (assuming she wasn’t lying) and she’s 43. But still seriously f’ed with my head and is not welcome in my dreams! This is also why from the beginning I banned conversation on the topic inside the house and especially not in bed. We spent a lot of cold nights talking on the porch/yard/carport.

Female BS
Married 19 years 
2 tween girls

DDay 10/2019 
Affair 1, 11/2010 to 2/2011
Affair 2, 6/2019 to 12/2019 - Persistent One is still trying to contact him. 

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Vanessa
I had a dream that X and AP showed up on my farm begging for toilet paper - I said sure come on in - and took out an 8 roll package and said "one for me, one for AP's name" and I pitched that TP into my pond - one for me, one for AP and into the pond it went.  I then told them she could go get her TP any time 🙂
Obviously I still have some issues as Dday and divorce are pretty long in the rear view mirror- but at least it was a funny dream.
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BlindCheetah
Vanessa wrote:
I had a dream that X and AP showed up on my farm begging for toilet paper - I said sure come on in - and took out an 8 roll package and said "one for me, one for AP's name" and I pitched that TP into my pond - one for me, one for AP and into the pond it went.  I then told them she could go get her TP any time 🙂
Obviously I still have some issues as Dday and divorce are pretty long in the rear view mirror- but at least it was a funny dream.
 

That’s great! I’m loving living in the woods right now, there are lots of fish in the pond, there is a lot that can be hidden in a pond.  If supplies get low we have lots of hungry fish and plenty of other wildlife and lots of beef on every fence line.

Female BS
Married 19 years 
2 tween girls

DDay 10/2019 
Affair 1, 11/2010 to 2/2011
Affair 2, 6/2019 to 12/2019 - Persistent One is still trying to contact him. 

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ThrivenotSurvive
Vanessa wrote:
I had a dream that X and AP showed up on my farm begging for toilet paper - I said sure come on in - and took out an 8 roll package and said "one for me, one for AP's name" and I pitched that TP into my pond - one for me, one for AP and into the pond it went.  I then told them she could go get her TP any time 🙂


Oh Vanessa - That was priceless.  Thanks for the solid belly laugh!
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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BlindCheetah

Dreams are getting strange.

Last night I had a dream he was calling me, he was also sleeping next to me. I woke up and he’s right there snoring. During his affair he gradually started sleeping in another room and when he wasn’t home he became almost impossible to get on the phone especially when traveling. So I guess it was sort of a good dream unless, someone had his phone. 


The night before he was eating lunch at a picnic table (possibly at work, never saw the building) I surprised him and sat down and ate with him as soon as he was finished he was anxious and in a hurry to leave like he had somewhere to be he didn’t want me to know about. He was asking how to tell when it was OK to leave. Not really anything good about this one except the big hug I got when I woke up, he didn’t know about the dream yet. 

Female BS
Married 19 years 
2 tween girls

DDay 10/2019 
Affair 1, 11/2010 to 2/2011
Affair 2, 6/2019 to 12/2019 - Persistent One is still trying to contact him. 

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Greyes128

I have been having several dreams lately about the AP for some reason and it’s driving me insane. Things have finally been really good for my husband and I, dare I say I feel at peace. So dreaming about her has been difficult.


Last night’s dream was a nightmare. In my dream I had to travel for work and my husband and his AP were at our home. I cancelled my trip and came home to find her naked on the sofa with him fully dressed. I grabbed her by the hair and threw out of the house, she was banging all the door so I threw her purse at her but nothing else. I got her clothes and threw them in the garbage can and proceeded to pour coffee and bacon grease all over them. 

I told my husband about it and he just held me. He asked why I’ve been dreaming about her lately and I couldn’t answer. 

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AnywhereButHere
Greyes128: if I was an analyst interpreting dreams, I would say that her being naked and him being fully dressed indicates that you are experiencing less anxiety about his relapsing into repeating his affair behavior - but the AP's very existence is still, understandably, troubling for you.
BH, 5+ Mo EA, DDay 3/8/18
"...regarding all as God after God."
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Greyes128
That makes perfect sense and that helps! One thing that plays in my head so often was that she told me she was a really good person. When she said that I told her she was complete idiot for saying that. Good people don’t go after other people’s spouses. 
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BlindCheetah
Greyes128 wrote:
That makes perfect sense and that helps! One thing that plays in my head so often was that she told me she was a really good person. When she said that I told her she was complete idiot for saying that. Good people don’t go after other people’s spouses. 


The mental gymnastics involved in convincing themselves that what they are doing is OK is amazing. When AP2 contacted me pretending to be helpful. I suggested she block my “mean and manipulative husband” that she was assuring me she wanted nothing to do with anymore. She thought it was a ridiculous idea, she’s still trying to contact him. 🙄

Female BS
Married 19 years 
2 tween girls

DDay 10/2019 
Affair 1, 11/2010 to 2/2011
Affair 2, 6/2019 to 12/2019 - Persistent One is still trying to contact him. 

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Keepabuzz
I’m almost 5 years from d-day and I have awful dreams still. Usually they come in waves. I haven’t had a good dream since before d-day. I can go a month or so without any, good or bad. I have either bad or none. I prefer none.  I haven’t any dreams in the past couple of weeks, but for literally 3 weeks prior to that I had bad dreams every single night. Everyone of them involved some sort of infidelity. Not always my wife. Sometimes it’s was one of my kids, or their spouses or a coworker. But they ALL involved infidelity. So I woke up hundreds of times each night. It really started to wear me down. So I did the one thing that always works for me.  I got drunk, so drunk that I wouldn’t dream. Even $hitty drunk sleep was better than the nightmares. I have no doubt they will be back, but for now they are gone. Just another one of the many things I just have to deal with. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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Skelling
I can't remember the last time, I had a really good night. I don't have bad dreams as often now but similar like Keep, I either have bad ones or none or maybe I just don't remember the others. But the bad ones are bad. Nothing seems to help with that. I still keep waking up at night but I am hoping that with time, that will change too.
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