loril
Our first anniversary following my husbands affair was approaching and I felt because of all the hard work we both had done, the day would go be like any normal day. Heck that all changed when I encountered the OW by accident one day in a store. She was the cashier (the only one as well) and I didnt realize it was her until I was face to face with her. I chose not to say anything and pretended not to know her.

Then the emotional rollercoaster took hold and has playing havoc for the past couple of weeks. Feel so out of control. WH has been very supportive but that does not seem to help me get her out of my mind.

I think she has also moved into the area as well because I see her at a bus stop around the corner a couple times a week.

I want off this ride!!!!!!!

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Anna26
loril wrote:
Our first anniversary following my husbands affair was approaching and I felt because of all the hard work we both had done, the day would go be like any normal day. Heck that all changed when I encountered the OW by accident one day in a store. She was the cashier (the only one as well) and I didnt realize it was her until I was face to face with her. I chose not to say anything and pretended not to know her. Then the emotional rollercoaster took hold and has playing havoc for the past couple of weeks. Feel so out of control. WH has been very supportive but that does not seem to help me get her out of my mind. I think she has also moved into the area as well because I see her at a bus stop around the corner a couple times a week. I want off this ride!!!!!!!




Ouch!  It's not an easy thing to deal with is it?  But I would say that your reaction to her was the BEST thing you could have possibly done.  And think of it this way, the very fact that she was the cashier would have given me the feeling that SHE had to do me a great service by attending to my purchases.  Did she know who you were?  Because if she did, I bet it rankled that she was having to deal with you too!

This is my husband's second affair, and the AP from the first still lives down our street, but if I see her, I just blank her completely, it's like she doesn't even exist.  To her it must appear that I can't even see her.  But this is many years down the line.... and the second also lives in the area.  I know what she looks like, where she lives, but have never spoken to her face to face.  I don't think I ever would, it would make me feel far superior to her to just walk away with a smile on my face because I know she has no dignity or self respect, and I have both. 
Just remember you are on the moral high ground [smile]
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loril
Anna26

I'm not 100% sure if she knew it was me, but only suspect because of the look on her face. 

Thanks for putting things into perspective for me.   [smile]

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Kalmarjan
Loril - I agree again with Anna26. If you treat her no differently than any other cashier, she loses all power she thinks she has over you. It is probably the biggest slap in the face you could give to the AP.

I've listened to a lot of OW talk, and a lot of times it comes down to a power struggle between them and the BS. It's a competition. They feel like they "win" the WS (and oh boy! What a prize??) so by reducing her to nothing but a cashier in your eyes eliminates all that competition.

Such is the power of aloofness. You can't make me angry with what I do not acknowledge.
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loril
Thank you Kalmarjan

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