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seventy7
@Keepabuzz 
Congrats on getting rid of that painful trigger. I have posted on here before that I traded in my wifes car just 2 months after finding out about her affair. I am also the breadwinner in the family, but did not see it as a reward for her, more of peace of mind for me. Waking up each day and seeing that damn thing in the garage was literally killing me. The thoughts that would run through my head were just not worth it. We had the means, so I traded it in. The peace of mind that gave me is well worth the little extra $$$ per month difference that the payment was. 
Male BS
D-Day 11/1/2017
It gets easier as time goes, but the pain never goes away
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Keepabuzz
seventy7 wrote:
@Keepabuzz 
Congrats on getting rid of that painful trigger. I have posted on here before that I traded in my wifes car just 2 months after finding out about her affair. I am also the breadwinner in the family, but did not see it as a reward for her, more of peace of mind for me. Waking up each day and seeing that damn thing in the garage was literally killing me. The thoughts that would run through my head were just not worth it. We had the means, so I traded it in. The peace of mind that gave me is well worth the little extra $$$ per month difference that the payment was. 


I thought about it hard. But at that point if I had sold it and bought her something else it would have very likely been a Yugo!  Lol
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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arizons
Keepabuzz wrote:


I thought about it hard. But at that point if I had sold it and bought her something else it would have very likely been a Yugo!  Lol


what is a Yugo???
Female BS, D-day 1/03/2017, 
I'm going to rebuild me like a remix,

and raise my soul like a Phoenix 
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surviving
I have said this before, but I would have an anxiety attack when I came near our couches or the car that were both used for his many affairs.  I would NOT ride in the car EVER!  We couldn't afford to buy something new, so we let the kids drive it.  One day, the car quit at 288,000 miles on it.  We junked it and had to buy something else.  I got MY VAN!  The couches had to go.  When they left the house, my WH asked if I felt relief.  NO, not until the new ones arrived (6 weeks later).  It was rather humbling that I had the only chair in the living room for six weeks.  My WH had to sit on the floor.  Serves him right!  
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Keepabuzz
arizons wrote:


what is a Yugo???


They were a terrible little cars imported to the US from Yugoslavia back in the eighties. They are known being cheap pieces of junk. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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JORGE
Keepabuzz wrote:
Well it’s been over 4 years since d-day and I have come a long way in my healing, but on Tuesday my wife starts a new job. Her last job is where she met her former AP, and betrayed me. She had been a SAHM for our entire marriage up to that point (14 years). After her confession I made her quit her job. We didn’t need it financially, it was more to just give her something to do, well she certainly found “something to do” alright. 🤬🤬🤬. Now here we are over 4 years later and she is going to work a part time job for a close friend of mine. I trust him. But I will never fully trust her again. She has done a ton of work over these 4 years, and made many necessary changes. Part of me is not concerned, but a big part of me is. I have known about this since last Saturday so this week has been tough. Very little sleep, terrible nightmares of her betraying me, dark thoughts, intrusive thoughts.  Like I said, a tough week. I told my wife about how this week has been last night. She reassured me, as she should have and told me I have full control. I could pull the plug whenever I wanted to, or that I could say that I didn’t want her to even start, and she wouldn’t and would continue to stay at home. I feel like she needs to have something to do. I wouldn’t want to be stuck in the house all day alone, everyday. That would drive me crazy. Also the job is only 4 hours a day. I can show up whenever I want to. Logically I should be ok with this, but the memories of the past are making it very difficult. I do feel confident that I will “become” ok with it, and that this is just another hurdle I have to face on this painful road. 

On the positive side, as I said here before I have always loved children. I have 4. Mine are all grown and out of the house except for my youngest who is in high school. I miss the days when they were little. I return from a business trip yesterday afternoon, and decided to get in the pool. It was hot, the pool was nice, and the beer was cold.  I wasn’t in long and I got out and dried off. A bit later, still in my trunks I walked out to the front of house and talked with some neighbor friends. We are very close with them and their small children. Their youngest is a precious little girl about a year and a half old. I play with her as I always do. She was running and playing, then she walked up and grabbed me by the hand and lead me to my back yard. As she lead me up the driveway I heard her momma say “what is she doing?”  My wife said she wants to go swimming and she knows he won’t tell her no”. I looked back for approval from her Momma, which she gave. Then we walked into my backyard, and she stripped down and got in the pool. Then came back out to grab me by the hand so I could take her into the deep water. My wife and the little girl’s Momma were watching from outside the fence. We swam , she jumped in, we worked on her kicking, and swimming, and we both had a blast. I’m not sure who had more fun, me or her. After about a half a hour, her Momma said it was time to go, but she just had to hop in the hot tub for a few minutes. There are bright spots still. 


Man, Keep........this post warmed me up so. I love kids and wish my 23 year old was still 4. :-)   I volunteer at a community center that has a daycare center and the kids have no idea how much they cheer me up. I was on vacation for a week or so in  August, and hadn't visited the community center for a 2-3 week period. When I return from my vacation, I walked through the room where the kids were, thinking no one would even recognize my absence.

A little girl of 4 or so yelled out "Hi Mr. Jorge". Then she walks over to me and extends her arms up to lift her. I pick her up, she wraps her arms around my neck and tells me she missed me. Man,............... I'll never forget that. It's a delight just sharing it here. Infidelity is so dark, your post was a welcome reprieve and a reminder of what joy a life can still bring. Thank you for sharing that.
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arizons
Keepabuzz wrote:


They were a terrible little cars imported to the US from Yugoslavia back in the eighties. They are known being cheap pieces of junk. 
LOL, I googled it. Not very attractive cars either.
Female BS, D-day 1/03/2017, 
I'm going to rebuild me like a remix,

and raise my soul like a Phoenix 
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Keepabuzz
arizons wrote:
LOL, I googled it. Not very attractive cars either.


lol. Yes they were terrible. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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notemanj
Reading these posts just to catch up with everyone. I literally laughed out loud at the Yugo comment, Keep! And then Arizons not knowing what they were made it even funnier! Add to that Surviving making her H sit on the floor. . . this has been one of the most enjoyable threads to read through in a long time!😂😍 

I so love all of you on here! Even when things are going well for me, I enjoy catching up and being a part of this community!
Wishing everyone here peace and healing!

Female BS Married 18 yrs
DDay 3/7/2017 through 4/2019 and counting. 
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