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midwestgirl
Broken Hearted  - 
I have never seen a pic of the AP. I realize that could if I just did a little bit of a search. Initially, I wanted to see, but resisted as my counselor told me...it's not the AP's attractiveness, it's your WH's weakness.  But, most of the time, I don't want to know. I did continually ask myself...bigger breasts? (most likely yes, I'm a runner), poutier lips? sexier? My entertaining these questions doesn't help me heal one bit, so I tried to limit myself dwelling on them. I asked myself those questions a lot post D-day, less and less now. 

I sometimes ask myself...what was I up against? But then, like Popeye, "I (y)am who I (y)am." 

So glad for you, BrokenHearted, that he appears to realize what he was quite in jeopardy of losing.

BS, 9/2017
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hurting
BrokenHearted, I am SO Glad for you!! I really am. It seems like your WS is finally ‘getting it’ and has stepped up. Like Keepabuzz said... don’t let accountability slide. It finally sounds like he is being more aware- the part about his behaviour during the festival and the beer tent sounds promising. THAT is the kind of behaviour he needs to keep up. 

I wish my WS would step up in similar ways. I suppose I’m fortunate that the AP is far away, so there is little chance of ‘running into’ her. I know that he does try to steer me away from things that are potentially triggering (though he’s not very good at it because there are so many that he misses) in every day life. Those efforts I have noticed because I may have noticed the triggers themselves. Him trying to keep me from seeing or being confronted by them lessens their power.

Good on you for taking some time out to spend with your girls. Be yourself, and be proud!
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BrokenHearted
midwestgirl wrote:
Broken Hearted  - 
I have never seen a pic of the AP. I realize that could if I just did a little bit of a search. Initially, I wanted to see, but resisted as my counselor told me...it's not the AP's attractiveness, it's your WH's weakness.  But, most of the time, I don't want to know. I did continually ask myself...bigger breasts? (most likely yes, I'm a runner), poutier lips? sexier? My entertaining these questions don't help me heal one bit, so I tried to limit myself dwelling on them. I asked myself those questions a lot post D-day, less and less now. 

I sometimes ask myself...what was I up against? But then, like Popeye, "I (y)am who I (y)am." 

So glad for you, BrokenHearted, that he appears to realize what he was quite in jeopardy of losing.

BS, 9/2017


His AP was a friend of mine for 14 yrs. I know far too much about her to just forget. 
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BrokenHearted
hurting wrote:
BrokenHearted, I am SO Glad for you!! I really am. It seems like your WS is finally ‘getting it’ and has stepped up. Like Keepabuzz said... don’t let accountability slide. It finally sounds like he is being more aware- the part about his behaviour during the festival and the beer tent sounds promising. THAT is the kind of behaviour he needs to keep up. 

I wish my WS would step up in similar ways. I suppose I’m fortunate that the AP is far away, so there is little chance of ‘running into’ her. I know that he does try to steer me away from things that are potentially triggering (though he’s not very good at it because there are so many that he misses) in every day life. Those efforts I have noticed because I may have noticed the triggers themselves. Him trying to keep me from seeing or being confronted by them lessens their power.

Good on you for taking some time out to spend with your girls. Be yourself, and be proud!


Thank you. I think that you may be right about him finally getting it. I realize there may be setbacks, but I think the fog finally lifted!
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