This was so hard for me in the beginning, and something I still struggle with. My WH travels for work so it’s often unavoidable. Fortunately AP doesn’t work so work travel was not part of the affair, but still, just being a part and not knowing is hard.
the affair destroyed my self esteem and one of the narratives I kept telling myself when WH would travel was “he’s going to realize how happy he is to be away from me and leave me”. I came to understand the only way I could counter this was to work on myself and finally feel like I am good wife and woman and if he doesn’t see it then that’s his problem. So so I do self care activities (hard because I also have three small kids at home), like taking bubble baths after the kids are in bed, doing puzzles and painting. I also make life easy on myself by ordering take out when he’s away and WH and I have an agreement that I don’t do any “extra” cleaning. When WH travels I focus on my kids and myself.
Female, BS 2 years post DDay