Siercot
Hello
Our DDay was March 20,2012. We have been working through the affair issues and I was feeling pretty confident and healing. About one year after DDay I started seeing still frames as if from a movie scene of events happening when i was a young child. I had no memories of any such events, I only had large areas of my childhood with NO memories until then. At first I thought I was crazy and felt awful because it was my father in the still frames. I finally asked my sister who is nine years my senior if I was crazy or could this actually be true. I actually doubted the validity of my "memories". She told me I was not crazy and that was why she left so young and she had hoped I would not experience the same. Since I had never spoken of anything she had hoped she was the last.
My question is, has anyone else experienced infidelity trauma triggering the memory of other trauma. This has reallly complicated my healing process by layering on so much pain to process. I am 49 and just celebrated our 20th anniversary. Strangely the anniversary was a trigger for me regarding his affair. He feels we are doing great and he knows about my childhood situation. I hesitate to express how much icky stuff I am processing right now.
I read a lot of books and am emotionally intelligent about the things I feel and experience but still the emotions get the best of me at times. I really thought after this long it should start being a distant memory but the added layer is challenging.
Any experiences would be helpful that might give me some understanding of the path I am on. I have not really read anything about the first trauma of infidelity bringing up trauma (repressed memory) from years ago. My father passed in 1993 so there is no closure there. My Mom is aware of what has come into my memory. She was unaware of what was happening when we were children, She has been a great support through everything.
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UrbanExplorer
My situation is different because I am the WS, but the affair aftermath did bring up emotional baggage from a rather shaming childhood low in emotional intimacy. I started seeing a new therapist in preparation for EMDR therapy. Are you seeing anyone to explore this avenue?
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Siercot
Hello
I have talked to a therapist but they were not experienced enough to assist. Their approach was text book and I actually recognized psychology book info in their responses. So, i am going to be seeking help in IC with someone with more experience. I have been told about a therapist who specializes in PTSD. I live in a military town so finding trauma specific professionals is available. We have been digging out of financial issues that are hangover from the affair. I will have $$ in a couple of months. I have serious confidence issues with mental health practitioners due to personal previous experiences that were not positive. I do realize i am ready to find someone who can give me better coping skills as I feel overwhelmed at times still.
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