Keepabuzz
I have been thinking about getting a tattoo that symbolizes healing or rebirth. I don’t want anything that would mark me as “damaged” or as a Betrayed Spouse. Something that symbolizes the misery I have been through, the darkness, the brokenness, the despair, but also the strength, and courage, and determination it has taken to get where I am today, and where I want to be “someday”.  I want it to only have meaning to me, and not be obvious to anyone else what it is about. I don’t want it to be huge either.

Right now, this is what I’m leaning towards.

H.O.P.E.  - Only this acronym 

Hold
On
Pain
Ends

To most everyone it would just say “Hope”. To me, it’s means don’t ever lose hope, hold on pain ends.  That acronym got me through my toughest times. 

What are your thoughts?
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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pea
I'm getting a lotus flower. The meaning is cut and pasted below from another source since I don't think I can post links here. I'm not religious, but I feel I probably identify with Buddhism the most out of any 'religion' although it's not technically a religion, but more a way of living. When I was in Frankfurt, Germany a couple of months ago, we visited an arboretum. In the very back we came across a pond that had hundreds of lotus flowers and the sun was shining on them and they were just breathtaking. I was filled with so much emotion that it was hard for me to walk away from them. I knew right then that this is the right tattoo for me.

Symbol for Spiritual Enlightenment: The meaning of the lotus flower symbol comes from an analogy derived from the flower's life cycle, where all humans are born into a world of suffering where they must learn to overcome difficult times so that they can become a better person and reach spiritual enlightenment. The muddy waters represent the struggles of life, the bud of the flower represent a person that has not yet reached their full potential, and the blossoming lotus flower above the water represents someone who has achieved nirvana and let go of worldly suffering.

Symbol for PurityThe lotus flower emerges from murky waters perfectly clean and beautiful, so it is also a symbol for purity. The meaning of the lotus flower holds such power because it can offer hope and strength to people struggling in their daily lives. It is a symbol that shows that no matter where you start off in life and no matter what you're going through, you have the ability to rise above, overcome all negativity and find bliss as you emerge from your struggles.

Throughout the process of the bud pushing through the murky waters, the petals of the flower are never touched or affected by the water, so the center remains uncontaminated throughout its unpleasant journey. This is symbolic of the purity of the human soul and how nothing we experience could ever taint it.

What it means to me is whether with my husband or alone, I will rise above.
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ThrivenotSurvive
I love both of these!  I am too big of a baby about needles for a tattoo.  But I love the symbolism.  
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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awaggoner1999
Keepabuzz wrote:
I have been thinking about getting a tattoo that symbolizes healing or rebirth. I don’t want anything that would mark me as “damaged” or as a Betrayed Spouse. Something that symbolizes the misery I have been through, the darkness, the brokenness, the despair, but also the strength, and courage, and determination it has taken to get where I am today, and where I want to be “someday”.  I want it to only have meaning to me, and not be obvious to anyone else what it is about. I don’t want it to be huge either.

Right now, this is what I’m leaning towards.

H.O.P.E.  - Only this acronym 

Hold
On
Pain
Ends

To most everyone it would just say “Hope”. To me, it’s means don’t ever lose hope, hold on pain ends.  That acronym got me through my toughest times. 

What are your thoughts?


i say go for it...i did three months after my DDay as a birthday treat and to re affirm who i was.
i had butterfly and the following phrase:   because i am...
That phrase spoke to me and said. that because i am worthy of love, because i am kind, because i am loving, because i am enough....that and so much 
your tattoo will be personal to you. I didnt get my first tattoo until i was 43 and second when 47.

my second says believe and it has so many meanings.

so do it for you.
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JORGE
Very appropriate and self empowering KAB
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Greyes128
I’ve been planning on getting another tattoo since dday. I’m getting a Phoenix, we went through hell and came out better and different people.  My husband loves the idea of it and said he wants to come with me. We also have a toast we say to each other every night before dinner, we are having that put on our wrists. 
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Phoenix
My BS got tattoo on his chest in February, a black tree of life with black birds flying away. When he first got it he told me it was to remind him and me of all the pain I caused. In the beginning it would cause me a lot of shame to look at it. The I turned it into something positive. One night while we were intimate I kissed it and told him I would use it to help me remind myself I needed to continue on my journey to be a better person. I think if you get it as a reminder of you surviving and thriving it’s a good thing. It should not be to shame your spouse. 
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Hesaliar
I had suspected infidelity for 20 years. He finally admitted to some truth of it in October,  2017. I got a tattoo last year after a year of trickle truth. He had 6 affairs over 6 years. My tattoo is on my stomach/hip. I'm the only one who sees it. It's an elaborate dagger through a heart. It's a classic betrayal tattoo. My only tattoo. While I was naive when we rug swept all those years ago, I'm not now. This is MY permanent reminder to never believe words over actions. Mine does shame my spouse...so he says. I don't care. I didn't get it for him. 
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Keepabuzz
Hesaliar wrote:
I had suspected infidelity for 20 years. He finally admitted to some truth of it in October,  2017. I got a tattoo last year after a year of trickle truth. He had 6 affairs over 6 years. My tattoo is on my stomach/hip. I'm the only one who sees it. It's an elaborate dagger through a heart. It's a classic betrayal tattoo. My only tattoo. While I was naive when we rug swept all those years ago, I'm not now. This is MY permanent reminder to never believe words over actions. Mine does shame my spouse...so he says. I don't care. I didn't get it for him. 


The shame he feels is completely of his own creation......
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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Reese
I have no tattoos and have been considering a phoenix. I love the idea so much and there are some beautiful watercolor ones that I've seen. Go for it! 
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Phoenix
Reese wrote:
I have no tattoos and have been considering a phoenix. I love the idea so much and there are some beautiful watercolor ones that I've seen. Go for it! 


That is the same tattoo I would like to get once I go through my transformation. For now i think I want to get a Caterpillar on a tree branch. 
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Damaged
My WH has jokingly talked about me getting a small tattoo for years .I never really wanted one but I went along with the ‘ talk ‘ . Since D day I absolutely do not want a tattoo. Probably because I don’t want a permanent mark on my body for him! In a nice way, I have told him that I don’t want one. He still periodically would tease and joke about getting one. A couple of weeks ago he brought it up again. I said “ Can  I ask you something?” . “ Does ( AP name) have a tattoo?”. He had to think about it , then said “ No”. That was like throwing cold water on the conversation! I don’t think he will ask me again!! 😊
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