We are all looking for the "one", but the truth is...there is only one "One". If you have looked to your spouse as your God in this life; your everything...always there for you, to never hurt you, always compassionate and understanding, to fulfill all your dreams and deepest desires, all forgiving, and always trustworthy, honest and loyal...you are not looking for a man (or woman). You are looking for a God. There is no one on this earth that will ever provide you with all you need to be "complete". Think about it, if everyone is looking for the other to complete them, the attention and concern is always on one's self, and one will always do whatever it takes to feel "complete", at the cost of whoever. That's today's love. I believe true love is always about the other person. The Bible tells us that when Jesus died for us and hung on the cross, instead of yelling out insults and hate to those who did this to him (MURDERERS)...he said, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:33). Even in His own murder and torture he is showing us what true love and forgiveness looks like, and that they are really one and the same.
There is only one "One". Look to God to be your perfect partner...understanding in all things. The "One" who will never leave you or forsake you. Your spouse should be your "two". Yes, we can all agree that faithfulness and loyalty is mandatory (and we don't think that's a lot to ask for really), yet we are all here as personal witnesses to this offense. We misplaced our hopes, dreams and needs into something that will always fail us--a human being. In Luke 23:34 it says that, "He (Jesus) did not entrust in them, for he knew all people." ALL PEOPLE. Sooner or later, you will be disappointed on some level. Your perfect person will fall from their pedestal, and all of your dreams will be shattered--because all of your dreams are in them, not in God's plan. Instead, learn to love your spouses for who they are, a fellow broken man that you have vowed to journey this life with...for better or worse, to death due you part. The older generations got this. I think that's why divorce is so common in society today, and people are on their 3rd and 4th marriages. All relationships will always fail to meet our expectations sooner or later. The world we live in today is an instant gratification world that is told to "follow your heart" at all costs. This is what the Devil wants--us all running around looking to feed our selfish desires with pride so large that forgiveness is inconceivable...seen as weakness. "Greater the pride, greater the fall."--so much truth.
I've heard it said that marriage is the closest relationship on this earth that mirrors God's love for us. In the end, those of us left holding hands will all become masters of mercy, grace, forgiveness, love, suffering, selflessness, overcoming condemnation (from the naysayers), and restoration. Yes, it takes two to want to grind it out and a whole lot of determination, discipline, hope and faith. But I believe if you have two willing partners who want to fight through something like this (or any offense), as painful as it may be in the current moment, healing and restoration is around the corner. It is God's will for you to become Christ-like and learn what true love is. He is molding you and shaping you in your pain. Perhaps this period in your life has brought you to where God wants you, OR your partner. Sharing your story with those around you; helping to heal and transform others in your sphere of influence. He doesn't bring the storms (we have free will), but he will always use them for your good if you listen to his direction. Remember, he is the great counselor and the one you should be seeking answers from.
Love is a verb, not a feeling. When you are not "feeling" it you still need to be "doing" it. Rest easy knowing that when this storm passes you will emerge a much stronger, more capable human being who is that much closer to who God wants you to become. And remember when you feel like giving up...giving up means starting over. You will have to learn this lesson again, especially if you remarry. The "adoring newby" WILL FALL at some point. Even worse, there's a 50% chance it will be in the exact same way (we all know the statistics are higher than recorded). So stay the course, you are almost there!!
Today, I love my life and I have new eyes for my husband. God has fully restored our love and healed my heart. I have no more pain. I can have triggers, discussion, etc. and there is no pain...it's more of an annoyance. I have died to myself and what others think of me--to my pride basically. I have been reborn, and it's a new life now. It's a new mindset! My husband is just a man. He will never be the PERFECT image of what I dreamed or (originally) demanded he be, because he is not perfect. But we are committed to continue down this journey of life together, hand in hand, tackling all things that come our way and doing our best not to be the ones who bring it. We are both a working progress, determined to never stop growing and learning. To be the best we can be for one another and ourselves. Through this process I have placed my hope and trust in the Lord, and he has given me the desires of my heart (which for me is healing, joy, and perspective)--Psalms 37:4. There is no fear when you have everything you need from the One true love, and your heart belongs to Him. Just as I ask the Lord to forgive me and wipe my sins clean, I have chosen to forgive my H wholeheartedly and start again. With God, when we truly repent there is always forgiveness, love, and second chances. "70 times 7," that's true love <3.