I joined some members on a conference call this evening (sorry again to those who tried to join the call I missed last night) and we have decided to keep the forum active. Please know that I value the contributions that many of you have made to this community. Let's keep it going...

There is more I need to say about this after I've given it more thought. There are ways you can be involved to keep the forum moving forward, maybe even growing again. I'll post more about that later this week. 

For now, just keep sharing, encouraging, healing.

Tim T
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Great news Tim. And thank you. 
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Yay!!! What a great thing to hear... it’s such a relief!!!
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Excellent news and such a comfort!
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Thank you !
D-Day#1 Dec 19, 2017
D-Day#2 Jan 13, 2018
5 year “on/off affair”

Married 25 years, together 35 
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Great news and so very grateful. Thank you.
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Thank you! This forum has been a blessing!
Male BS
Married 17 years
D-Day 11/1/2017
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Thank you. Being just at the beginning, I value this place very much and frankly rely on it too.
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Well, congratulations on the outpouring of interest and support. I originally found the forum 5 years ago, and for years, the forum helped me to focus and exercise my awareness and build integrity, find and share resources. I don't frequent the site often these days, but I know what a useful resource this is to people in our situations. 5 years post d-day, my spouse and I are having a better relationship than ever, many things healed, many still work in progress, with a much different perspective on the world. EAM.
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I am so grateful, as this community has given me such strength.

I am also very happy to know that this community will be here for those logging in for the first time in the coming days, weeks and years.
Male BS, 3.15.2017

Taking care of myself, as we all deserve to do.
Encouraging all to bolster their: Emotional Health, Physical Health and Spiritual Health
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I know that I've been MIA for a long time, but I have to say that I am very glad to hear of this development. Tim, Sharon, Jen - the three of you, and this forum in particular were so extremely helpful to me in my early survival of my wife's affairs. We found additional tools and resources in otters places as well, but without AH, I don't think I would have been able to have the resolve to get to the place to find those other things. 

Saturday will be exactly 2 years from her final, complete and truthful disclosure to me, and so much has changed since then. I'm still a mess at least half of the time. A lot of that is still fall out from this, other parts of it are from my "Other" PTSD of child abuse, parental alcoholism, etc. I'm very much a work in progress that's hard to realize for myself, and I often feel hopeless. Places like the AH forums are where I have found that hope so many times.

In those two years, I've become a small group leader for the online classes at a different site (I won't mention here out of courtesy, but will edit and include if Tim, et al would like). I am the coordinator of the BAN group in my area. I'm making a lot of progress in therapy finally. This has been through adding IFS/EMDR to the work. 

Its been so hard. And living through my wife's betrayals, dragging her feet in recovery, and her continued mistakes has been excruciating and pushed me to the very edge time after time. But I can say unmistakeably there is real progress. Once on the monthly care call I asked about brokenness - that complete breakdown of emotional recognition of just how much she has destroyed me - and whether or not we can ever truly get to OK if that doesn't happen. Tim, you said "not necessarily". And there is a part of me that still feels like I need that in order to truly recommit to her. So that's really hard. But I've learned to be able to tell her about that need in a way that isn't condemning or attacking (though I still fall back into that sometimes). And she has empathy for that. She has so much empathy now. She truly listens to me, when I need to dump out the hurt and the pain. If she minimizes anything now, she's doing it in her head, and not saying it out loud anymore. I don't think she really does it anymore though. She holds me when I need to be held. She is there for me whenever I need her - she puts her other things aside when I'm in a bad way.

In short, she has become an amazing wife. Certainly not perfect. I wish she would share more with me, especially about her working through all of the betrayals and actions in them. Its hard being kind of on the outside of that process. She was one of the test group for the "Why" class that you did. She promised me we would talk about it and explore it afterward, but that kind of fell aside for what seems like forever, and it really hurt. Its always felt like I've had to drag everything out of her. This morning she went through it all with me, and it helped me to know her even more than I already do. Hearing her identify her weaknesses and places that have led her to that hole of selfishness in a way that seemed truly insightful was special and healing for me.

I hope that others that were unfaithful can hear that message in my words. That doing the work and understanding your flaws and failings is so important to getting yourself to a healthy place, with or without your marriage. Because you need a good, fulfilling life with love in it no matter what, and without working these things you'll probably live them again. But especially if you are reconciling with your hurt spouse, then sharing that work, and the insights with them will go so much further and mean so much more to your partner than I think you could ever understand.

So Tim, once again, I want to thank you from the deepest parts of me for your help and what you are doing for this part of the population, who are so alon, in so much pain, and in so much need of hope.

Wishing you all healing, peace, and love, 

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I have to say I'm very very happy that this forum will continue on...I don't actually post a lot but I do read through the forums fairly frequently to help me sort out feelings that still live on in my heart.  I suffer from the after-effects of years of emotional trauma that I can't seem to recover fully from.  This is sometimes my only light to walk through the dark tunnel.  I know I need help but until I find the right person to offer this help the forum is my refuge.  Thank you everyone for keeping it (and my lifeline) alive
Female BS Most Recent DDay Mar 2017 (prev marriage Ddays Apr 1995, Apr 2009 and Oct 2014)...can't say I didn't try to stick it out and make it work
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This is spectacular news!  My offers of support still stand. Just let me know what you need. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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So happy to hear this.  I look forward to sharing hope and encouragement this year along with those of us who have experienced FULL restoration and exponential growth through this unfortunate circumstance.  Truth is, my marriage would not be anywhere close to THE BEAUTY it is today if it wasn’t for the demanding urgency for healing and personal/relational growth that is required following this devastation. Don’t give up!! Fight fight fight.  Victory will come! <3
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Great news!!! This has been a great resource, if not the best, that has helped me get through the infidelity.
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