TimT
posted an article that a neuroscientist wrote for our site. He discusses limerence and "affair fog" from the perspective of what's going on in the brain. What do you think about it?

Here's how the article starts:

"Affair fog. The mysterious mind-altering cloud that seems to descend on people caught up in affairs. It's an apt term, because it captures the idea that the cheater is no longer seeing the world clearly, that they've lost their old sense of direction, that they are now wandering around in a dreamy haze, heedless to the world around them. Peering through the fog the only thing they seem to see clearly is their affair partner - who stands out as a dazzling source of light and wonder. Their spouse, when they notice them at all, is a dull obstacle that stands in their way. They may even look backwards, and rewrite the history of their marriage from this new perspective - emphasizing all the negative experiences and unhappy memories, and downplaying the joys and love.

"So, what's going on? Have they lost their mind? Have they really fallen under the bewitching spell of their affair partner? Why can't they see what is so obvious to everyone around them: that they are an everyday cheater making a fool of themselves, and harming the people that love them?

"As a neuroscientist, I tend to look at this from the perspective that such large-scale changes in mood, perception, and behavior must have their origins in the brain. So, the answer to the puzzle of affair fog lies in figuring out what's going on in our heads..."

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UrbanExplorer
Interesting post!

Relatedly, as a whole lot of time has passed since I saw my AP, he has become decidedly unappealing in my mind. Gross, almost, if that makes sense. That's what coming out of the previous fog feels like to me.
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Keepabuzz
Interesting post!

Relatedly, as a whole lot of time has passed since I saw my AP, he has become decidedly unappealing in my mind. Gross, almost, if that makes sense. That's what coming out of the previous fog feels like to me.


That is very helpful to hear. My wife has said the same, but honestly I didn’t believe her, and assumed she said that in some attempt to spare me more pain. Thank you for your post! 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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ThrivenotSurvive
Interesting post!

Relatedly, as a whole lot of time has passed since I saw my AP, he has become decidedly unappealing in my mind. Gross, almost, if that makes sense. That's what coming out of the previous fog feels like to me.


My husband has tried to share that he does not remember the AP in a positive light either but as Keep says, in the back of your mind you wonder... are they just trying to tell me what they think I want to hear?  It's one of the reasons I've always appreciated the WSs who share on the forum.  Many times they articulate things my husband has tried to say.  By hearing it from another source it helps reinforce and at times, understand the point more clearly.  
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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