violet Show full post »
Thanks UE, we are in the process of having attorneys talk now.  Yes 50/50 and all the other stuff.  I'm more concerned with now.  She seems to get a pass at night.  I'm not having it anymore.  Not matter what I say, i.e. the 180 letter that I wrote and read to her, she takes the wrong way.  I was just texting a mutual friend and she told my that my wife took what I said to her the wrong way.  And that I should give her the letter.  I'm not comfortable with that.  I feel like all she will do is take the letter to her AP and they will analyze it.  I told our mutual friend that if my wife likes, I will re read the letter.  She is not getting a copy.  The 180 process was for me to let her go.  And I made sure our friend knew this.  Which I am sure will get back to my wife.  If I'm wrong someone let me know.  I think of the process as twofold, one is for me.  It allows me the ability to verbally say " I am letting you go"  whether they hear it or it goes in subconsciously.  And secondly, it does subconsciously pull the safety net of me away.  I was speaking with my MIL.  She had the weekend with my wife and kids.  My in-laws are heart broken, but they are now quiet and my WS is actually trying to talk with them after 2 months of not speaking.  I was explaining to my MIL that she needs to let go and allow my WS to fall and skin her knees and get dirty.  Then when she comes back we can all help her.  Does any of that make sense?
Quote 0 0
Hello Ralbano, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this.  But I do believe you are doing the right thing.  It is so very important that you keep your boundaries strong and firm. Since your WS is not giving you respect, you need to calmly take it.  It is not being offered to you, but that does not mean you don't deserve to be treated humanely and fairly.  

Please try to remind yourself internally that you are not doing anything wrong when you require her to act like an adult in this matter.  You are not being unreasonable.  You are simply requiring her to behave in a way that shows you basic human dignity:  Staying home overnight, until your divorce is final, and you two are not still living under the same roof.  

She is the one who has acted out of line.  Therefore, you have the right of way - you just have to confidently act on it.

Take good care of yourself.

Quote 1 0