Blessedby7
Have any of you guys ever felt a very sudden shift? 

Last week I wasn't doing so well. Wednesday evening I talked to him and pretty nearly used Thrive's wording for explaining the need for ALL information. We talked about the memes, the pick up lines and all. I was feeling better, but not great.  Friday morning the baby wouldn't sleep and the sleep deprivation from the last two weeks just really got to me. I was nearly I'm a rage, and anger just doesn't get me all that often. I was just so angry for the situation and him for causing it, and it keeping me from being able to be a good mom. I seriously thought I was going to hurt my little one, I was just feeling so out of control, so I put her in the truck and her and I just drove around for a few hours.

About an hour or so into my drive I called a friend. She is actually my husband's childhood friend, so I had refrained from saying anything to her, but she's become my friend too over the years, and after pushing a bit a few weeks ago, I spilled it all. All the years of hurt and everything, I told her all of it. We talked Friday morning for a long time, and when I felt better I came home, but I was still just emotionally exhausted all day. When he came home that evening I pretty much let him have it with both barrels. He took a little time, but after about an hour he came and just held me for the longest time. He took my face at one point and wouldn't let go until I looked into his eyes and could see the tears, and the sorrow. I've had such a hard time looking him in the eyes this year. He did this all evening, just talking to me, and holding me, telling me he loves me, and wants to do whatever we need. He helped me get ready for one of my jewelry events, which is a trigger for me because I was texting him for help for one last year and he was with her, and wouldn't respond. Saturday he texted me several times during the event, encouraging me. Sunday we went to a tree farm for the first time as a family and had a great day. He's trying so hard. 

Ever since I've wanted to go put my rings back on. I pulled them out two months ago and could do nothing but cry. It just feels like there's a shift. I feel like maybe I'm starting to allow myself to feel loved by him, just a little. Maybe I'm starting to actually, truly believe? But I've been hopeful before and then just sunk again, I'm so scared to trust this.

Don't worry, I'm not going to let him off the hook just because I'm in a good place. I've still got my boundaries, but I'm starting to feel hope for this place I'm in. 
Female BS
Dday 10/12/2018

Renewing myself one day at a time. 
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ThrivenotSurvive
Yes.  I have definitely felt this a number of times over the past few years.  It typically comes after a time where my husband and I connected deeply or I have come to peace with some element of the betrayal that I had been struggling with. 

There will still be setbacks and triggers - but I have never found that I lose all of the momentum of one of these shifts.  It's as if you've suddenly moved a step or two up the ladder.  There is still a long way to get to the top, but you are still higher than you were... if that makes sense. 

Allow yourself to feel good - you've earned it.  
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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Blessedby7
Yes.  I have definitely felt this a number of times over the past few years.  It typically comes after a time where my husband and I connected deeply or I have come to peace with some element of the betrayal that I had been struggling with. 

There will still be setbacks and triggers - but I have never found that I lose all of the momentum of one of these shifts.  It's as if you've suddenly moved a step or two up the ladder.  There is still a long way to get to the top, but you are still higher than you were... if that makes sense. 

Allow yourself to feel good - you've earned it.  


This is so good to hear. It's truly been a *good* few days. It's hard to trust it. 
Female BS
Dday 10/12/2018

Renewing myself one day at a time. 
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