Urban, do you live in a state where the AP can be sued for absence of affection? I do live in one of those states, and that's been a constant fear. The only difference is my H could turn around and sue my AP, so it's kind of a wash. I am sorry you have to go through that. I recently went through a court case with my AP, and it's incredibly embarrassing and creates horrible triggers! It actually set my husband and me way back in recovery. If you can afford it, you may want to get an attorney yourself. You need to be very careful you do not say anything that could put yourself in jeopardy.
I believe the couple's grounds for divorce are extreme cruelty and gross neglect of duty. We had admitted to the affair already, so the subpoena can't be a question of proving that it happened.
It does feel extremely violating to have my financial data admitted as public record. My lawyer is helping me to redact everything irrelevant.
ETA that I am not in a state that allows alienation of affection suits against APs.