TimT
Some songs can become negative triggers after an affair, but others may be comforting, inspiring, and healing. Is there a particular song that has been encouraging or helpful to you? Tell us about it. If there are particular lyrics that are meaningful, write them out for us.
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TimT
On the other side of my affair, I "fell into the darkness" for a while. It seemed I had lost so much of what had been normal to me before. I was changing, and not necessarily in good ways. I felt lost.

An old song by Michael W Smith (author of the the song "Friends Are Friends Forever" that was probably played at half the high school graduations when it came out) really struck home to me and for a while became an anthem to my own search back to a healthy place.

MISSING PERSON

Another question in me
One for the powers that be
It's got me thrown
And so I put on my poker face
And try to figure it out
This undeniable doubt
A common occurrence
Feeling so out of place

Guarded and cynical now
Can't help but wondering how
My heart evolved into
A rock beating inside of me
So I feel such a stoic ordeal
Where's that feeling that I don't feel

There was a boy who had the faith to move a mountain
And like a child he would believe without a reason
Without a trace he disappeared into the void and
I've been searchin' for that missing person

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UrbanExplorer
I love music and find it healing, so listen to a lot of females singing about painful personal growth.

"Me" by Paula Cole

I am not the person who is singing,
I am the silent one inside.
I am not the one who laughs at people's jokes,
I just pacify their egos.
I am not my house, my car or my songs,
They are only stops along my way.
I am like the winter, I'm a dark cold female,
With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave.

And it's me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence

I am carrying my voice
I am carrying a heart.
I am carrying the rhythm
I am carrying my prayers,
but you can kill my spirit, it's old and it is strong,
And like a mountain I'll go on and on.
But when my wings are folded,
The brightly colored moth blends into the dirt into the ground

And it's me who is my enemy.
Me who beats me up.
Me who makes the monsters.
Me who strips my confidence.
And it's me who's too weak,
And it's me who's too shy to ask for the thing I love.
And it's me who's too weak,
And it's me who's too shy to ask for the thing I love.
But I love

I am walking on the bridge,
I am over the water,
And I'm scared as hell
But I know there's something better.
(Yes I know, yes I know, yes I know, yes I know)



'Watershed" by Indigo Girls

Thought I knew my mind like the back of my hand,
The gold and the rainbow, but nothing panned out as I planned.
And they say only milk and honey's gonna make your soul satisfied
Well I better learn how to swim
Cause the crossing is chilly and wide.

Twisted guardrail on the highway, broken glass on the cement
A ghost of someone's tragedy
How recklessly my time has been spent.
And they say that it's never too late, but you don't get any younger
Well I better learn how to starve the emptiness
And feed the hunger

Up on the watershed, standing at the fork in the road
You can stand there and agonize
Till your agony's your heaviest load.
You'll never fly as the crow flies, get used to a country mile.
When you're learning to face the path at your pace
Every choice is worth your while.

Well there's always retrospect to light a clearer path
Every five years or so I look back on my life
And I have a good laugh.
You start at the top, go full circle round
Catch a breeze, take a spill
But ending up where i started again makes me wanna stand still.
Stepping on a crack, breaking up and looking back
Every tree limb overhead just seems to sit and wait.
Until every step you take becomes a twist of fate.



"Fallen" by Sarah McLachlan

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...



"I Believe" by Christina Perri (This one has a suicide prevention theme)

I believe if I'd knew where I was going, I'd lose my way
I believe that the words that he told you are not your grave
I know that we are not the weight of all our memories
I believe in the things that I am afraid to say

Hold on, hold on

I believe in the lost possibilities you can see
And I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be
I know that your heart is still beating, beating darling
I believe that you fell so you can land next to me

'Cause I have been where you are before
And I have felt the pain of losing who you are
And I have died so many times, but I am still alive

I believe that tomorrow is stronger than yesterday
And I believe that your head is the only thing in your way
I wish that you could see your scars turnin to beauty
I believe that today it's okay to be not okay

Hold on, hold on

'Cause I have been where you are before
And I have felt the pain of losing who you are
And I have died so many times, but I am still alive

This is not the end of me, this is the beginning
(Hold on)
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning
(Hold on)
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning
(Hold on (I am still alive)
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning
(Hold on (I am still alive)
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning
(Hold on (I am still alive)
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning
(Hold on (I am still alive)
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning
(Hold on (I am still alive)
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning
(Hold on (I am still alive)
This is not the end of me, this is the beginning
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brini13

Little Miss

By Sugarland


Little Miss down on love,
Little Miss I give up,
Little Miss I'll get tough, don't you worry 'bout me anymore

Little Miss checkered dress,
Little Miss one big mess,
Little Miss I'll take less when I always give that so much more

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
Yeah, sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win,
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again

I'm okay, it'll be alright again,
I'm okay (okay) it'll be alright again,
I'm okay

Little Miss do your best,
Little Miss never rest,
Little Miss, be my guest, I'll make more anytime it runs out

Little Miss you'll go far,
Little Miss hide your scars,
Little Miss who you are is so much more than you like to talk about

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
Yeah, sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win,
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again,
I'm okay, it'll be alright again,
I'm okay (okay) it'll be alright again,
I'm okay

Hold on, hold on, you are loved, are loved

Little Miss brand new start,
Little Miss do your part,
Little Miss big ole heart beats wide open, she's ready now for love

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
Yeah, sometimes ya gotta lose 'til ya win,
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again
I'm okay, it'll be alright again,
I'm okay (okay) it'll be alright again,
I'm okay,
It'll be alright again

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Negarcia
A song that reminds me we are not perfect and allows me to see that we can work as a couple is:

Casting Crowns - Broken Together

What do you think about when you look at me
I know we're not the fairy tale you dreamed we'd be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand
And we dove into a mystery
How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, we've drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night?
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It's going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds
Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we'll last forever is broken together
How it must have been so lonely by my side
We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
I'm praying God will help our broken hearts align
And we won't give up the fight
It's going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds
Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we'll last forever is broken together
Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we'll last forever is broken together
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aliasbsmith
When I first found out about the affair, I asked God to send me some songs. Thanks, Tim, for bringing more from this community.
This one came to me, among the first. It's better when you hear the music.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTDRjqVIyVY

Hold Me Jesus

By Rich Mullins

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big,
And my faith just seems so small 

So hold me Jesus,
Cause I'm shaking like a leaf 
You have been King of my glory 
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus,
Cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory 
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me 
I'd rather fight you for something
I don't really want
Than to take what you give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And the Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

So hold me Jesus,
Cause I'm shaking like a leaf 
You have been King of my glory 
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory 
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Songwriters: RICHARD MULLINS
© Universal Music Publishing Group
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Dirazz
aliasbsmith, I love this song! I listen to it all the time!
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Dirazz
This song was a life saver for me and spoke to how I felt on DD. I had to turn over my broken heart over to God.


"Save My Life"

Deep inside, down in the darkest part of my heart
Where what I'm ashamed of tries to hide
And tells me that things are fine just the way they are

I'm so afraid of anyone finding out about these chains
I'm starting to believe there's no way
The pieces of me I hate are ever gonna change

Oh how I need You
See, here's my broken heart
I lift it up, it's empty of the foolish pride
I no longer try to hide
Please hear my desperate plea, come and rescue me
Cause I realize tonight
I need You to save my life

All my life I've been running from the light of Your truth
Holding back a part of me I should've given You
Because I never knew there was freedom just outside
So I can't stand living with these lies

I don't want there to ever be one more day
When I can't see just how desperately
I'm in need of You
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UrbanExplorer
This song always feels optimistic to me, like redemption:

ROLL AWAY YOUR STONE (Mumford and Sons)

Roll away your stone, I'll roll away mine
Together we can see what we will find
Don't leave me alone at this time
For I am afraid of what I will discover inside

'Cause you told me that I would find a hole
Within the fragile substance of my soul
And I have filled this void with things unreal
And all the while my character it steals

Darkness is a harsh term don't you think?
And yet it dominates the things I see

It seems that all my bridges have been burnt
But you say that's exactly how this grace thing works.
It's not the long walk home that will change this heart
But the welcome I receive with every start

Darkness is a harsh term don't you think?
And yet it dominates the things I see
Darkness is a harsh term don't you think?
And yet it dominates the things I see

Stars hide your fires
These here are my desires
And I will give them up to you this time around
And so I'll be found
With my stake stuck in this ground
Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul

Hide your fires
These here are my desires
And I will give them up to you this time around
And so I'll be found
With my stake stuck in this ground
Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul

But you, you've gone too far this time
You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine
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neslon
Plumb - I can't do this - I listen to this song as I run plus a few others that I will add tomorrow.

I woke up late.
Guess I'm never really early.
I hesitate,
Only to fail.
I get so tired
Of procrastinating.
I need a change.

I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I can't do this by myself.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Oh God, I need your help.

I'm standing still,
Moved so peaceful.
I can't pretend
That I'm fine.
I get so ill,
Crazy, agitated
When I'm not really dying.

I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I can't do this by myself.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Oh God, I need your help.

Press into me.
(Press into me.)
Breathe the air.
(Breathe the air.)
Bask in me.
(Bask in me.)
You'll be free
To do anything.

I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I can't do this by myself.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Oh God, I need your help.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I can't do this by myself.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Oh God, I need your help.
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neslon
I started with what I call therapy music then shifted to angry music now running to strong music.  I tend to like diversity so it's an odd mix but it does help me feel better.

Feeling good - Michael Buble
Fight Song - Rachel Platten
Thrive - Switchfoot
Fighter - Christina Aguilera
Show you love - Jars of Clay
For a better Day - Avicii
Damaged - Plumb
Thy Will - Hillary Scott and Scott Family
Stronger - Kanye West
Home - Blue October
Run the world - Beyonce
Let's go - Trick daddy
Lose Yourself - Eminem
Flood - Jars of Clay
Rise - Katy Perry
In my Arms - Plumb
Titanium - David Guetta
Home - Phillip Phillips
Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
Carry on Wayward Son - Kansas
Carry on - Fun
F*&kin' Perfect - Pink
Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield
Rule the World - Walk off the Earth
Good to be Alive - Andy Grammer

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