Robin1971
it has been not even 4 months since dday when i found out about my husbands affair and i am having such a hard time.  i am trying to deal with so many emotions.  he is trying to prove to me that he wants this marriage ( i think he is), but every word he says to me he has said to her.  he has confessed his love to her, he has said it all.  how am i to believe it when he says it to me.  my walls are built up and i can not let my guard down to let him back in as much as i try.  i want to but i find myself just protecting myself and my kids from future hurt.  i for the life of me can not understand how anyone can do this to another person.  the pain yall put us thru is horrible and the 'fun" that yall get to have that you hide from us is so selfish i just dont get it.  i guess i just have to accept it
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Anna26

Robin,

I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time at the moment.  There are so many of us going through this, and individually, you can feel like the only one.  Sometimes all it takes is for someone else to say 'I understand'. 
I know exactly where you are coming from when you say that he's saying the same to you as he said to her.  And I know, not because my husband has told me, but because of the things I've read on texts etc, when playing detective. 
It hurts like hell to read that those words that you thought were yours alone, are being repeated to another.  No wonder that we don't believe them when they try to make amends.

You don't believe him right now because all the trust you had for him is gone. So naturally, your guard is up. Only when he can show he can be accountable and remorseful enough, will you be able to feel you can trust him enough to let it down a little.   This is what I feel anyway.  I'm 9 months out from DDay and still waiting for him to have his moment of enlightenment.  It seems to be a heck of a long haul for me, and different for everyone. My husband is still undecided.
It seems that yours is at least showing some signs of wanting to be with you and to try to work things out.  That counts for a lot right now.  Hope this helps a little.
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