She has been texting me the last 2 days and I mean a lot. Wanting to know about daughter's college and other things. I told her do you want to come home and do this, I could use the help and you are always welcome. I told her that I loved her and that I was standing for our marriage. I told her that I pray for her everyday.
I am the same as your WS, texting her, more for our financial situation. I have texted her small notes such as “hope your day is good.” Or “I know you are tired, praying for you.” Or simple statements. The last one was yesterday, she said thank you but now that we are off vacation, I need my space. I’m not sure if that means don’t text her at all except our financial responsibilities and church.
I told her that if she had just said, I'm not happy and I am thinking of leaving Things would have been different. I would have been afraid of losing her and would have done whatever to fix things. But she never said a thing. I believe this is rewriting our history.
For 30 years, our marriage has not been good. 2 times I have contacted divorce attorneys to discuss the idea of what it takes to file for a divorce. Like Larry the Cable Guy said,
“What do you want for your anniversary?
“She said a ‘deevorce’.
“I did not plan on spending that much.”
I think that was also a deterrent for me to not file for a divorce. But what was the main reason was she blasted me for even contacting an attorney. When I told her what I did, she responded to me, “So, you want to throw away 29 years of marriage, give up, and destroy the Deaf church?” So I dismissed the idea of a divorce.
I told her that I loved her and that I was standing for our marriage. I told her that I pray for her everyday.
I wish she would want to come home and help me at least get the house ready for sale, but she says it hurts to much to be here in the house. I wish she would be like you in that she would want to work on the marriage and that she loved me, but she does not. So all I can do is pray for her, tell her that I love her and that I am here for her whenever she is ready. Right now we have a house to get ready to sell, and one of our adult children and myself, along with our 17 year old son, is getting the house ready. Her reason is that she works from 11am to 11 pm, which I get. I too have to work but since I live here, I am doing the work. Someone said on this forum somewhere, she asked her husband to take most of the responsibility of working the restoration and burden, in which he did, and it worked out. So, I am doing the same thing so that it lessens the burden on her. Plus, I created the mess, I need to do the work.