Hi Cheryl, I wish I could give you some type of advice, hope or peace of mind but I am in exactly the same place. When I found their messages on his FB I sent them to me copied in an email. I read it over and over and over…I don't know if I was looking for some sort of answer. He too told her the world and made me sound so awful, of which he said were lies just to keep her. But I think I was looking for something that showed he did care about me or a slip to her that he loved me. I had to finally file it away and some crazy moments I find it and re-read (so can't tell you won't even if filed away but it definitely helps not having it right there in my face). I am in the same place as you, I don't know why I should save our marriage if he gave it away so easy for her. Is it worth saving? I don't have an answer for you, but just writing it out and having great people like those who already replied for support does help!!
I don't want to be untrusting in a marriage, I don't want to feel I have to check his emails (he too has offered his passwords). This is not the person I was - Jealous & Controlling I don't want this to change me.Graceandhope - do you find sometimes you go back to that dark place of wanting to check up on him? When does that feeling end and you trust again? What did he do to help? Full disclosure of the affair? My husband remembers most of the affair but the night they were together?? which I find odd? he said it was only once over a 4mth period but he has no idea…I'm not trusting as I think he has something to hide about the night? Was it over our anniversary or my birthday? when I took our son to my parents for mothers day weekend? I feel he is hiding something by "not remembering"Smallpaws44 is right too Cheryl, he may be in a fog. My husband kept saying he wasn't a cheater. It wasn't who he was. i kept saying he was a cheater cause he cheated…he couldn't see it. Until today! He said yeah I am that guy - finally. He thought he wasn't that guy who cheats on his wife but he cheated on his wife - so he is that guy! We just kept talking …keep talking! I figure if he wants our marriage to work he will talk & listen if not, he doesn't want it and I deserve better!Bless you all and I hope we can all find happiness! Hugs!
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