SmallPaws44
He admitted his short-lived purely sexual affair mid-December (I didn't have a clue). We are now nearly in April and I'm still angry and still vacillating between tears, anger, hyper vigilance, etc. I feel very all over the place. He's doing all he can to work towards reconciliation. I feel him leaning in to do repair this but I feel myself pulling away. At the beginning, I wanted to save our marriage. Now, I just feel myself growing more distant, more apathetic. I don't even know why I'm even trying. When I'm not in a mood, I just feel...nothing.

I think this is a huge sign that I need to walk away but I wanted to check with all you lovely people to see if this is normal or not.

(Edited to changed omitted to admitted. There wasn't a second affair. Only one.)
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surviving
SmallPaws44 - After DDay your feelings most likely will follow the steps for grieving. 

1.  Shock & Denial

2.  Pain & Guilt

3.  Anger & Bargaining

4.  Depression, reflection, loneliness

5.  The upward turn

6.  Reconstruction & working through

7.  Acceptance & hope

If your husband trickled in the truth about his affair, that will continue to make you start all over in your grieving process.  My husband took three months to get all his sexual affairs out in the open - and there were MANY!  We are 30 months from DDay, and I am still in the grieving process.  I hope you don't take as long as we are taking, but when the truth trickles in, I have to start all over in the process. 

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Heidi
It's absolutely normal to still be angry. I got a disclosure about a ons (that he'd hidden for 15 years) in September, 7 months after the original d day. It felt like going back to the beginning again. And I was angry that I'd done all the work and he hadn't, and he'd hurt me again.

It does get better, but he has even more to prove second time around so has to work overtime to gain your trust.

I thought about walking away a lot. I told him I needed him to fight for our marriage, because I wasn't able to do it any more. He did it, and six months later I'm healing and things are so much better.
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Graceandhope
Those steps are a good outline. You may revisit various stages through the process. But, where you are, is where you are "supposed" to be. They are your emotions they are not wrong or unwarranted .
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TimT
I agree with the advice posted here. It's not really a question of whether or not you should be angry; you ARE angry and there are reasons for it. The question is: What do I do with my anger?

When anger controls me, it's destructive to intimate relationship, but when I use it as an indicator of deeper feelings (at least fear and hurt for you, I would assume), I can choose to step into a vulnerable place to address those areas of need. Hopefully, your husband will be willing to offer comfort if/when you are able move out of anger and let him see stuff that's underneath.
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Lpat4
I am 15 months post d day and I still have moments of anger. But they are fleeting moments and becoming less and less as times goes on. The main anger I feel now is how stupid he was to risk all he has/had for fulfilment and gratification through sex.
There will be anger but what you need to do is use the anger in a positive way. It's a natural process and with time you will be able to work through these moments
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