H and I are rebuilding our marriage, after a long affair, and long drawn-out breakup 3 months ago. Finally I am once again recognising the man I married, he is fully committed to our marriage and it’s great being together. He has moved back home, we both work from home these days, and it’s been much better than we both expected. We argue extremely little and the down moments are usually a result of something which triggers me and causes me to doubt his sincerity or to feel the pain more acutely.
But there’s a “but”: to put it bluntly, no sex. We affectionately give long hugs morning and evening, we sit really close to each other on the couch when we’re watching TV, but nothing else. He hasn’t really initiated any intimacy although he says he likes it when I cuddle up to him. If he reciprocates, it’s with the awkwardness of a teenager, or he might seemingly imperceptibly slide closer to me on the couch, for example. Two weeks ago we spoke about how important it was for both of us to move past the “housemates” status, and a few days ago I told him I need him physically and he said he does too. We’re sleeping in separate bedrooms and I told him he could come over to my room or invite me to his when he wanted. But so far, nothing.
So I’m baffled. All the signs are positive but I sense a reluctance or a shyness to get intimate. I expect HIM to make a move, given that he was the one who opened his bed to another person, although when we first met 25 years ago he found it extremely hard to do that and the first move eventually can from me. What am I missing? All this is making me feel insecure and wondering if he is attracted to me.