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Scarlett
Same think in my marriage, Urban. The emotional connection was 80% of the affair. We didn't see each other enough to make sex the priority. The emotional connection was the hardest thing for me to break, but to my husband it was all about the sex. Even to the point where he would hurt me by saying my x-AP used me for sex.
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kaleidoscope7
I think it's well documented that men are most hurt by a wife's sexual indiscretions, while women are most hurt by a husband's emotional connection to someone else.

So, what's going on when WH says "it was only sexual; it didn't mean anything"?

If it's true that men are devastated when women get sex on the side, what's the message to women when men do it?

In my experience men don't mind as much when you are emotionally involved with other men -- that's what you do with your mother, sisters, girlfriends. So a woman's EA, not such a big threat. Sexual, that's a totally different ball game.
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kaleidoscope7
omg, I just voted, and cried. They are equally damaging.
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