Youny79
every time I read this quote, it somehow makes sense out of all the confusion I feel in developing deep and meaningful relationships 

how many times  I hear the word "happy" or "I'm not happy" conected with a relationship 

This quote makes me think about realtionships as alive and in flux not fixed and static 

it also implys that there is an evolutionary impulse that moves from asleep "unconscious" to awake "conscious"

looking back i see see how the ideas I obsorbed about love and realtionships were inadequate and setting me up to fail 

Rohan keating said recently after his wife divorced him for having an affair with a backstage dancer that he did it because he was feed up with being "the perfect husband" 

i think this sums up his level of confusion in his relationship with his now ex wife 

when we play roles in our realtionships we are not relating to the person but to the image we hold of the person
 
This makes it hard for us to allow real feelings to flow within the relationship specially if the feelings threaten the image we hold of ourselves and them

Often sexual desire is fuelled by a greater need for authenticity and aliveness 

affairs are for many the pits of the most Unbearable pain and dispair but they are also  for many the catalyst for   a great awakening 

for or those couples who have stayed together after an affair,  no the relationship won't be the same again "asleep" it will be a conscious relationship where you are working with the realities, alive to each other in the present 

when you look you see them 

when they talk you hear 

and when you touch you feel them




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Keepabuzz
There is a ton of truth in these words. I like the asleep/awake comparison. Asleep was safety and security for me. Awake is uncertainty, insecurity.
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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UrbanExplorer
Youny79 wrote:
every time I read this quote, it somehow makes sense out of all the confusion I feel in developing deep and meaningful relationships 

how many times  I hear the word "happy" or "I'm not happy" conected with a relationship 

This quote makes me think about realtionships as alive and in flux not fixed and static 

it also implys that there is an evolutionary impulse that moves from asleep "unconscious" to awake "conscious"

looking back i see see how the ideas I obsorbed about love and realtionships were inadequate and setting me up to fail 

Rohan keating said recently after his wife divorced him for having an affair with a backstage dancer that he did it because he was feed up with being "the perfect husband" 

i think this sums up his level of confusion in his relationship with his now ex wife 

when we play roles in our realtionships we are not relating to the person but to the image we hold of the person
 
This makes it hard for us to allow real feelings to flow within the relationship specially if the feelings threaten the image we hold of ourselves and them

Often sexual desire is fuelled by a greater need for authenticity and aliveness 

affairs are for many the pits of the most Unbearable pain and dispair but they are also  for many the catalyst for   a great awakening 

for or those couples who have stayed together after an affair,  no the relationship won't be the same again "asleep" it will be a conscious relationship where you are working with the realities, alive to each other in the present 

when you look you see them 

when they talk you hear 

and when you touch you feel them






Youny, this is quite perceptive and wise. I believe it is possible for couples who are on a similar page to "make it" to a fully restored marriage that is more authentic than the original marriage was. I certainly had unrealistic ideas about love and marriage, and I have been married for more than 20 years. My marriage was out of balance, and I wasn't self-aware. 
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