Emotional affairs can be just that. But that doesn't change two things - Betrayal is betrayal. Emotional affairs are still a betrayal.
Secondly, your gut hasn't been wrong so far, so I am going to say that it isn't likely that it is now. I think one thing you will find that we ALL agree on here is that we should have trusted ourselves more. We knew things didn't feel right - but we tried to believe what our spouse was saying. So I say this - trust yourself. When you finally hear the real, unadulterated truth - even hen it doesn't match what you dreamed up, you somehow know. I don't know if it is in their body language or something in their eyes... but whatever the case, you experience it differently. It's like you just know that this is it. You may not have every detail, but the "meat" of it has been revealed. If you don't have that feeling, it is probably because you don't.
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child DD May 2016 “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl