So my husband and I decided on a night out over the weekend. We were having a great time and then we realized that the OM was in the same establishment that we were at. It was a bit of a shock at first but we decided as a couple not to leave until we were ready. This is going to happen occasionally in our small town and we will just have to deal with it rather than let it ruin our night.
OM was situated by the exit so there was no way of us leaving without seeing each other. When we finally decide to leave we ran into a group of friends who were also by the exit and they strike up a conversation. I ask my husband if he is comfortable enough to stay for a chat and he says yes it’s no big deal. We are literally a few feet away from OM. I make no eye contact and really had no desire to. I honestly felt nothing, I was more worried about my husbands feelings. A good sign.
That being said the OM reacted so strangely to it. He left the building several times only to come back in and walk by us several times. He seemed very rattled and was not acting like the confident person I remember. It was odd and somewhat childish. (A lot of this was relayed to be by my husband as I had seen the OM leave and not come back in so I thought he was gone right up until the end of the night when he reappeared in my peripheral standing behind my husband).
After coming home my husband was worried that by the way OM reacted it means he still has feelings for me and may try make contact. I reassured him that if he did I would let him know and would not be responding to anything. I thought maybe OM was just fearful of my husband reacting poorly to seeing him, but then why not just leave the first time? Why come back and proceed to linger behind my husband?
So im curious - what’s your take on the situation and why would he react like that? Should I be worried about contact?
It sounds to me like you and your husband handled a tough situation well. I think your willingness to follow your husband’s lead as to stay or go showed caring and respect. My wife and I had a similar situation, except our children were with us. We didn’t notice the OM at the restaurant until we were leaving. My wife didn’t see him. I don’t think he noticed us. It was crowded. I certainly noticed him as I walked out. Being ex-military I’m always aware of my surroundings. It caught me off guard. It was the first time I had seen him since her well before her confession. This was over a year past d-day. It took all I had not to hit him with a chair. We all walked out of the restaurant, then I unlocked the vehicle. I stopped before getting in, and texted my wife, so that she would be aware. Since my anger was heavily triggered. She said she had not noticed him. We got home, talked a bit and went to sleep. That could have gone very differently, and likely would have if my kids hadn’t been there. As as far as your concern about the OM trying to contact you, I wouldn’t worry about it. Do as you said, if he does. Do not respond, immediately tell your husband, then follow his lead. Let that piece of garbage fade into history.....
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....