I think that most wayward spouses learn the affair was their choice. Nobody took the gun or knife or any kind of a weapon forced us to have an affair with the OW/OM. However, the affair is simply a result of something that has been taking place in an individual’s life pre-marriage, post-marriage, or mid marriage. Every situation is different, every couple is different, and every individual is different but the one thing that I see consistent in the affair is that it was brought on by a person’s personal, cognitive, individual choice.
I was a pastor but I stepped down just after my fair came to light. My affair was not even two months before I broke it off. I knew what I did was wrong, I knew I had to tell my wife because I was feeling so bad that I’ve violated our wedding vows. Unfortunately, the day I broke it off on February 11, 2016 the other woman beat me to the punch.
As a wayward spouse, if you ask me why the affair, it was a multiplicity of reasons the end result was I made the decision to go out have sexual affair knowing in my own mind and heart it was wrong.