Negarcia Show full post »
Anna26
Mavrik86 wrote:
I know very little about what my wife and her AP talked about since it was a long distance relationship built mainly on texts and calls.  I did she a private message where she was asking him if he had changed his mind.  He asked if she had changed her's and she said she had not but she had 2 girls that were not always very nice.  He told her and they already hate me.  Her answer to that blew me away..... She said, So......  I think it blew him away too because he said So?  She told him they don't even know you.  Our girls had already told him that they would never meet him and he would never be in their lives.  Shortly after this conversation their contact by text and phone ended and she told me it was over.  

I will be changing my username because I have discovered that if she were to google it the first thing that come up is this site so I need to use a username that I have never used before.  Does anybody know how I can change it or will I have to start a new account.




Mavrik, if you need to change your username, I think you need to message TimT and he will sort it out for you.  Believe it will be the same account.
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Negarcia
lleckron wrote:


Gratefully, my kids want to be with me and their mother.  we are trying to work on our marriage.  The kids keep me in line now.


Once my husbabd decides what he wants to do, in am hoping we are able to work on our marriage.
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Mia2003
My h is just behaving like a dick. I can't see how he can't wake up even if it's more the kids sake initially. Even his mother has pulled him up on his behaviour and he doesn't listen...it's crazy.

Can't think what is going on in his head....it's like he's gone mad. Can't believe he can consider a future when he doesn't even admit to the past year.
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Freewill76
My 4 daughters have told their dad that they will not accept his AP who now lives with him in our family home after he kicked us out. (Now denies kicking us out) 2 months after DDay. His reply was "he was not giving up the chance to spend the rest of his life with her. So if that means not having a relationship with his kids then that's up to them to choose to accept or not accept her"
She was married with no kids so.she doesn't have to worry about these problems. (She's only 26 and he's 46 )
Hence the kids have not seen their dad for 6 months and of course it's all my fault . Also won't pay for anything because they refuse to talk to him
What is going on in his mind I have no clue??
Is this a reaction to the situation. I don't know? All I keep thinking is how does a WS get so involved with someone that they can turn on their own kids??
Strange thing is he Hates the kids seeing him with her( we live in a small town)
She's closer to our oldest daughters age rather than his!! No wonder he's embarrassed
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Heidi
Hi Freewill76, I'm so sorry to hear about that. So many people are affected by affairs, and it's really hard to understand how somebody could treat their children in such a callous way. Even harder to find what the OW sees in him right now,

You sound as though you're dealing with things really well, which can't be easy at all. To be suddenly confronted by something like this, then be homeless with 3 children is unimaginably hard. My hat goes off to you.

My husband's AP was 25 and our daughter is 16, so they were closer in age than he was to her. Sadly it's only when they get their heads out of their arse that they see how idiotic it all was.

Wishing you great strength.
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Negarcia
Freewill76 wrote:
My 4 daughters have told their dad that they will not accept his AP who now lives with him in our family home after he kicked us out. (Now denies kicking us out) 2 months after DDay. His reply was "he was not giving up the chance to spend the rest of his life with her. So if that means not having a relationship with his kids then that's up to them to choose to accept or not accept her"
She was married with no kids so.she doesn't have to worry about these problems. (She's only 26 and he's 46 )
Hence the kids have not seen their dad for 6 months and of course it's all my fault . Also won't pay for anything because they refuse to talk to him
What is going on in his mind I have no clue??
Is this a reaction to the situation. I don't know? All I keep thinking is how does a WS get so involved with someone that they can turn on their own kids??
Strange thing is he Hates the kids seeing him with her( we live in a small town)
She's closer to our oldest daughters age rather than his!! No wonder he's embarrassed


Freewill
I am so sorry you and your girls are dealing with this horrific situation but it sounds like you are showing him you are in control. He is in a deep fog, would u go back to him if he came to his senses and realized he was wrong?
I don't know what in my husband clicked a little bit but I know having our children not accept him in this situation is very hard for him. When he was deep in his fog he didn't care what he said to me or the I kids but he said and did sooo many mean things. I also don't know why but a lot of those things he doesn't remember (they didn't hurt him so why should he right). In your situation I can't believe that the OW would actually be okay with him kicking you guys out and moving into your home. What an A****** move. If my husband did that to me and my kids I would be furious. The affair is already a painful thing to accept but him treating the family in this manner is crazy to me.

You are a very strong woman and I am sure your children are proud of you. Good job momma!
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Freewill76
Thanks all.
Really not coping well. I put on a brave face for the outside world and for my kids. I know this sounds silly but I'm so ebarrassed. I feel like he just thinks out with the old and in with the new!!
Negarcia - No I love him unbelievably so but I know in myself that I couldn't go back. Not with what he has done and also the way he has treated our 4 girls.
It's only been 6 months but feels like a life time. My feelings have changed towards him. I really don't have any respect for him or his family ( who have just accepted it)
He claims he has no respect for me for the things I have said in hurt and anger and blames me for everything
I wish I could have my happy family back, but know that's not possible. It makes me so sad
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Negarcia
Freewill76 wrote:
Thanks all.
Really not coping well. I put on a brave face for the outside world and for my kids. I know this sounds silly but I'm so ebarrassed. I feel like he just thinks out with the old and in with the new!!
Negarcia - No I love him unbelievably so but I know in myself that I couldn't go back. Not with what he has done and also the way he has treated our 4 girls.
It's only been 6 months but feels like a life time. My feelings have changed towards him. I really don't have any respect for him or his family ( who have just accepted it)
He claims he has no respect for me for the things I have said in hurt and anger and blames me for everything
I wish I could have my happy family back, but know that's not possible. It makes me so sad


Freewill
It will get better, I too love my husband with all my heart, but it's hard. My husband has said mean things and has also tried blaming me for a lot of the things I said but I have finally accepted it's not me, it's an excuse. And putting on a brave face to the outside world including him is okay.
I have finally accepted that my husband will make his choices but have been living for me and my kids, no longer him. He knows that and it hurts him. Focus on you, I know it's hard but it seems like your doing a great job. You are amazing.
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Dirazz
Freewill I too felt so embarrassed and humiliated for the first few months, like somehow I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, sexy enough and that's why my husband did this? I mean she was 26 years younger than me! I did literally feel out with the old and in with the new young one. But after seeing a picture of her I knew I was better than her in all ways. Not only in physical ways, but most importantly I had morals and integrity 2 things she obviously did not have. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you and your girls. I will never understand how any parent can leave their children for someone else?! Negarcia is correct you are strong and brave! I will keep you and your girls in my prayers.
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Negarcia
I think we all feel embarrassed like how could this happen to me. It took me a long time to come to grips with it. But once I told my sister and friend, I felt stronger and felt empowered and then I started going to IC and I realized it's him, not me, his insecurities, his choices, I know our marriage wasn't perfect but who's really is. When there is an issue do you run away from it all? No you fix it, if your car broke down, would u go buy a new one everytime? No because u will them have new issues, maybe money or something else.

Like Dirazz I thought the same, not good enough, but then I saw her picture talked to her and thought this is what your giving your family up for? Wow.. I just shake my head when I think about it now, and know he is trying to find me in her and it will never happen. I'm so much better morally, I respect myself and others around me and have integrity as well. We are all above them in many ways.
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