AMT
Hope it’s alright for me to share what’s been happening in my world. I just feel so much pain inside sometimes it just has to come out somehow. 
So my husband has made the decision that what I’m asking of him to help me heal is too big an ask and he does not want to do it at all. So I guess we’re heading for divorce land. Rationally my brain realises that there is no other option and ultimately I am strong enough and resilient enough to be ok with that. I do know that. 
But my heart is definitely broken. It hurts and I am extremely sad that my marriage is over. I am trying to do all the right things in dealing with my grief over this but there are just some days where it’s just so very difficult being positive and even knowing this is the right thing to do, does not make the ache in my heart any more bearable. 
To be honest if it was just my marriage falling apart I think I would be able to manage as I know I am a very strong person. But unfortunately this has come at the tail end of 10 months of continuous life disappointments so I am definitely not feeling very strong or resilient at the moment. I have some very dark days where honestly I think the fact I am still breathing means I am winning. So just taking it one day at a time and doing whatever I can to keep the dark days at bay ie talking to friends, counsellor, fun things, positive affirmations, work. So far I’m still winning. 😊 Thank you for letting me vent. 
Quote 1 0
Keepabuzz
I know those very dark days well.  What helped me most during those times was to remind myself “this IS temporary, I WILL get better, I WILL NOT feel this way forever”. There were times when I literally repeated that, out loud to myself. When you are in those darkest times, continuing to be breathing IS winning!  I know that dark place very well, I spent a lot of time there. 

If you you would like to PM me, I would be happy to talk privately. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
Quote 2 0
SadAndLonely
Affairs and divorce suck. They really suck. You’ll have days when you feel ok, a little happy, but then you have days when you cry all day. I had been doing ok for weeks and then my 1st birthday celebrating without my husband came along. I had two very dark and sad days. But as Keepabuzz says, it will get better. The dark days cannot last forever unless you let them. Keep moving forward and focusing on yourself!  You will get through this!!!!
BS: Married 8-1/2 yrs, together 13
Separated 6/11/17
D-Day 3/10/17
Quote 1 0
Trinity
Keepabuzz wrote:
When you are in those darkest times, continuing to be breathing IS winning!  I know that dark place very well, I spent a lot of time there. 
 


Me too.  I actually laid in bed said to myself "Well, at least I breathing."  
I cried so much that I literally had no tears left.  
There will be good and bad days.  The good news is that the bad don't stay around forever.  Like Keepabuzz said, it IS temporary.

"T"
BS - DDay July 2017

O GOD, take me, break me, make me. 
Quote 1 0
Kiki
I am having one of those days today.
I had a pipe burst this morning, cleaned it all up myself, then I had a meltdown. 

Still struggling to gain composure. 

Sometimes it just feels surreal.
D-Day#1 Dec 19, 2017
D-Day#2 Jan 13, 2018
5 year “on/off affair”
Separated

Married 25 years, together 35
Quote 0 0
SadAndLonely
I’m sorry Kiki!  Some days are such a struggle. Tomorrow will be better. We all have our bad days and that’s ok. 
BS: Married 8-1/2 yrs, together 13
Separated 6/11/17
D-Day 3/10/17
Quote 1 0