Blessedby7
I came across a picture today that I had posted of my husband the day he left for disaster relief for Hurricane Florence. In the post I talked about how proud I was of him, and his heart to go and help. Within 48 hours he was screwing a woman he had just met. It's been a rough week anyway, and then this.  Talk about a trigger.

I think staying and trying to work things out is so much harder than just ending it.
Tired of working on us, so now I'm working on me. 
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Experiencethedevine29
Agreed blessed, it most certainly is.  If I had a penny for the times I’ve chastised myself for staying I’d be wearing my jimmy choo’s as slippers and parading out in valentino’s everyday of the week just to do the shopping!

I’m 10 years out and although I no longer have that gut churning nausea you’re obviously suffering periodically, I do get the odd trigger...🙄

Chin up girl, tomorrow’s another day...  

ETD🌻
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Hurting2014
Agreed blessed, it most certainly is.  If I had a penny for the times I’ve chastised myself for staying I’d be wearing my jimmy choo’s as slippers and parading out in valentino’s everyday of the week just to do the shopping!

I’m 10 years out and although I no longer have that gut churning nausea you’re obviously suffering periodically, I do get the odd trigger...🙄

Chin up girl, tomorrow’s another day...  

ETD🌻



Gut churning nausea. That is exactly what I feel when I am reminded of the affair.
Feels like my gut suddenly did a very quick nanosecond flip and turned into a vacuum. I feel the split second panic that my whole midsection got punched and the insides removed. Then this feeling of nothingness travels to my chest. Travels down my arm and boom. I just had to exhale otherwise I feel like I am about to explode/implode. Bitter pain that is phantomlike but real. Melodramatic but that is the best I could describe it.
Female, BS, D-day Mid 2014. Still sad. Trying to cope while no one else knows I am broken.
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Experiencethedevine29
Hurting2014 wrote:



Gut churning nausea. That is exactly what I feel when I am reminded of the affair.
Feels like my gut suddenly did a very quick nanosecond flip and turned into a vacuum. I feel the split second panic that my whole midsection got punched and the insides removed. Then this feeling of nothingness travels to my chest. Travels down my arm and boom. I just had to exhale otherwise I feel like I am about to explode/implode. Bitter pain that is phantomlike but real. Melodramatic but that is the best I could describe it.


horrid business... what used to really p*ss me off was that he’d sleep like a ****ing  baby..(no conscience you see.)..I don’t think they ever really get the extent of the damage they’ve caused.

 You  can wrap a turd in tin foil cover it with glitter and spray it with Chanel, it’s still a turd...


ETD🌻

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Blessedby7
Yeah, they definitely don't get it. For not being quite six months from D-day, I think I'm handling most things pretty well, but this one has really gotten me. I spent all week talking about how proud I was of him, and he was replacing me.

This has definitely been the longest lasting trigger, though most in the house don't even realize anything is bothering me (husband or kids).  
Tired of working on us, so now I'm working on me. 
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Avellino1
Thats the problem with triggers.  Who can you share them with??  Because most people think you are a fool for staying in the first place...
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Blessedby7
Avellino1 wrote:
Thats the problem with triggers.  Who can you share them with??  Because most people think you are a fool for staying in the first place...


Definitely! 
Tired of working on us, so now I'm working on me. 
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tosharri
I came to surf through the forum tonight because I have been treading wave after wave of triggers/sadness over the past week.  My WS (not really a spouse but the acronym is appropriate) has been gone for a week already for training and has one more week to go.  This week was my daughter's first week of spring break so she's gone now too, leaving me completely alone in the house.  Still lots to do and I'm working really hard to keep busy and complete some long awaited projects at home but I still feel so alone...afraid.  Not of being alone in the house but afraid that he's out there with a bunch of other people that are also away from their SOs...not a good combination.  He texts when he can...but I don't know what to say to him.  The last time we were apart like this (when we were living in different states) he was having relationships with other women and I can't get it out of my head how easy it would be for him to do whatever he wants and I would never know.  

I am doing the best that I can not to let this completely paralyze me but my drive to push through is waning...
'
Female BS Most Recent DDay Mar 2017 (prev marriage Ddays Apr 1995, Apr 2009 and Oct 2014)...can't say I didn't try to stick it out and make it work
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