D-day was almost 3 months ago and at the time I panicked and did all the things Tim advises not to do. I begged, reminded him of his obligation to his children, promised I'd work with him to save our marriage etc, and he stayed, but for the wrong reasons and he was openly resentful and angry. After a couple of days I realised this was no life for either of us, so apologised and told him that if he wanted to leave he should and the children and I would be ok. This resulted in a big change in him, he stopped being angry and resentful and told me that staying was his choice. However, as he and his AP own a business together it has taken these 3 months for her to leave. I decided I didn't want to do couples therapy until there was no more contact between them. So we start couples therapy next week, and i want to begin with a truth session. One of the questions on my list is 'do you still want to be with her?'. This question haunts me because if the answer is yes I just don't think I can continue on. I have been through so much and I'm not convinced I want to keep fighting for a marriage to a man who would rather be with someone else.
I'm not actually sure what I'm even asking. I know nobody can actually tell me what to do. I'm just so weary from all of this. I hate every bit of it and just don't want it to be my life anymore. I think I just needed to offload to a sympathetic group for a bit of the love and support. There's precious little of that at home right now! Thanks for listening.