Beckiboo72
I'm aware that my Daughter in law (32) is still having a physical Affair with a best friend (30) of his for about 8 years.

As his mother I never wanted to interfere in my sons (33) relationship as he is an adult. But knowibg abiyt this all these years is hurtful becayse Its not fair to my son.

Heres where it gets bad. My sons best friends mother us MY best friend from childhood. She is the one who told me those years ago.
Rebecca
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Keepabuzz
Beckiboo72 wrote:
I'm aware that my Daughter in law (32) is still having a physical Affair with a best friend (30) of his for about 8 years.

As his mother I never wanted to interfere in my sons (33) relationship as he is an adult. But knowibg abiyt this all these years is hurtful becayse Its not fair to my son.

Heres where it gets bad. My sons best friends mother us MY best friend from childhood. She is the one who told me those years ago.


So you have been aware that your daughter in law has been having an affair for years, and you haven’t told your son?!?!?  For the love of God, WHY NOT?!??
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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Beckiboo72
Keepabuzz wrote:


So you have been aware that your daughter in law has been having an affair for years, and you haven’t told your son?!?!?  For the love of God, WHY NOT?!??


I was told that its not best to get involved
Rebecca
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Beckiboo72
My sister in law informed me in 2012
Rebecca
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JORGE
By choosing neutrality, you are choosing against the well being of your son. His wife, of course will not reveal her transgressions for selfish reasons. She's so broken however, she cannot see (or doesn't care) that her secret life is in plain sight of everyone. This should demonstrate to you that as caretaker for your son's heart she is incapable of fulfilling this huge responsibility. She has trashed his heart in front of you. Should you permit this to continue, you are subjecting yourself to him questioning your commitment to him as well. In a sense, this is a double betrayal, which means twice the hurt and twice the damage to him. All he possibly has is you. 

D-Day will come sooner or later. On that day, his life will change forever and those in it will also be changed. He will be flailing, searching for relief, and people he can trust. He will not know who he is, what his life has become and will question the authenticity of his life in the past.  I believe you have an moral and familial obligation to inform your son simply out of love. His response should not dictate your willingness or unwillingness to inform.

Allow love to drive your action, not the opinion of others. Speaking of love, the bond between a mom and son is unique and even supersedes in some ways the bond between husband and wife. Don't underestimate this. You say you were told it was best to not get involved. That was that person's opinion. You however need to make the decision. Do not allow that person's opinion to be YOUR decision. You are the mom and there's only one. 

One of the first questions a betrayed spouse asks a wayward spouse, is 'who else knew'? Why? Because the BS takes inventory to identify who's on his team and who's not. In doing so he'd deciding who can he trust moving forward in his life as he rebuilds it. He will conclude, those who knew beforehand  are enablers, who by default are also now the betrayers. Betrayers are not solely spouses, but anyone who has betrayed his trust. The BS seeks this information in order to help define and control there life moving forward. Those that didn't are often extricated out of the betrayed person's life.
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JORGE
Beckiboo72 wrote:
My sister in law informed me in 2012


..........meaning the affair has gone on for 6 years and you have known the entire time? Not much more to say here except the fact that you are here implies on the most fundamental level, you are aware that this is very, very wrong. Much of what I wrote above doesn't necessarily apply, as you will have to account for your choice to remain silent, as does his wife. We're talking damage control here.

The problem is he can divorce his wife, but can't divorce his mom. You are in this as deeply as his spouse. The question is when are you going to come forth with the truth. I presume you thought something would have happened by now and that you wouldn't have to intercede. Times up! 
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Beckiboo72
Yes thats true
Rebecca
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Ginger
His whore's parents knew.  I find that repulsive that they stood complicitily by while their spoiled, coddled, ugly whore daughter not only destroyed her own family but was working on destroying the lives of 5 more people.  Who does that?? 
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anthropoidape
Beckiboo72 wrote:
 

Heres where it gets bad.


Oh that's where it gets bad. 
Maybe it is okay, maybe it will be okay.

BS, d-day Feb 2017, 16 mth affair.
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