UnsureofHer
I am doing OK. I am seeing a new counselor and that has helps a lot. I have reached a point where I realize I am never going to hear and answer that satisfies my need to understand. I never will understand. Actually i get it intellectually - but emotionally I never will. If I want to move forward ( and I do) I have to accept that it happened and that I cant change that at all. I have to accept that I cant even fully understand to my satisfaction the reason why. That gets me into a loop of feelings that is i not good for me or for saving my marriage. My wife is doing all the right things and that what i need to focus on. If she chooses to do "something else" - I cant stop it but I can make other choices at that point that I dont wish to make today. I know I will still have rough moments maybe even days - but I am working on putting things in place to better deal with them and car for myself. In 57 and if i want to enjoy my life moving forward the past has to be the past and I have to stay it the present and work towards making it the best that it can be - so today that is what I choose to do.
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ThrivenotSurvive
This is great news UnsureofHer.  I am so happy that you are working to find a place in you that allows you to move forward.  You deserve peace and happiness.  
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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