Im so sorry you having to go through the this, I just want to make sure I understand. So you had an affair, and you stayed together to work it out? Now he has had an affair, and you then separated?
Do you talk to anyone about this? A trusted friend, family? Are you in counseling? IC and/or MC? I had never been to therapy in my life before my wife's affair. We went to MC immediately, then it was suggested by the therapist that we both get IC as well. I always thought "what's the point? Just to talk about my problems with some stranger? I'm a man, I don't need that". Boy was I wrong. Both MC and IC have been immensely helpful to me, and my wife. Even if she hadn't gone, it still would have been helpful to me. I had/have so much anger and hurt. Like you I felt completely broken, dead inside. I think anyone going through this needs a "guide", that is the best way I can describe it. They can't fix anything, but they help you navigate through it. I also talked with my Mom, since she her husband had an affair 10 years ago. She offered so much support. If I hadn't talked to anyone, I don't think I would have made it. Not that everything is all good now, but we have come a long way. I have only been involved on this forum for a few weeks, but it has REALLY helped me.
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....