This master list represents the most highly recommended books that are still easily available for purchase. AH Community members may post suggestions in the Suggest a Book forum.
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Affair Recovery Books

Books are listed in alphabetical order.

* = Top recommendations as a "start here" resource
+ = Faith-based content

*Affair Healing: A Recovery Manual for Betrayed Spouses by Tim Tedder
This manual offers a unique approach to recovery help by combining practical recovery information with testimony from those who have lived through infidelity and step-by-step guidelines and worksheets to help users put the information to use. It can be used individually or combined with the companion manual (for Unfaithful Spouses) as a couple's recovery guide. More info & download sample.
View: Online Purchase

*After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, 2nd Edition
 by Janis Spring
After the Affair teaches partners how to heal themselves and grow from the shattering crisis of an infidelity. Drawing on thirty-five years as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Spring offers a series of original and proven strategies that address such questions as: Why did it happen? Once love and trust are gone, can we ever get them back? Can I—should I—recommit when I feel so ambivalent? How do we become sexually intimate again? Is forgiveness possible? What constitutes an affair in cyberspace?
View: Amazon link | Kindle link

Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage
 by Michelle Weiner Davis
Weiner Davis pays special attention to issues of infidelity (see chapter 10), depression, midlife crises, and "passion meltdowns," showing how basic relationship skills (like understanding and patience) can reverse even the most dire marital scenarios.
View: Amazon link

+Forgiving the Unforgivable by Beverly Flanigan
How do we forgive those who commit acts that seem unforgivable, like adultery? The founder and director of the Center for Family Therapy guides readers through biblical teaching on how forgiveness is applied in such difficult circumstances.
View: Amazon link |Kindle link

*Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help you Cope, Heal, and Move On, Together or Apart by Snyder, Baoucom, & Gordon.
Getting Past the Affair guides you through the initial trauma of an affair so you can understand what happened and why before deciding how to move forward. This book offers support and expert advice from a team of couple therapists. If you stay with your spouse, you’ll find realistic tips for rebuilding your marriage and restoring trust. If not, you’ll discover effective ways to recover personally, avoid lasting scars, and pursue healthier relationships in the future.
View: Amazon linkKindle link

+Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken by Cindy Beal
A few days after an ordinary Valentine's Day, Cindy Beall's life changed forever. She listened with disbelief to her husband, Chris, a respected pastor, confess to pornography addiction, numerous affairs, and the startling news that a woman was pregnant with his child. This is her story.
View: Amazon link | Kindle link

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
 by Janis Abrahms Spring
A look at the process toward healthy forgiveness following an affair. The author addresses four different responses to the forgiveness issue and offers insight into how to move toward complete forgiveness, if possible. Although written primarily as a guide for the betrayed spouse, the final section addresses what is needed from each spouse in order to experience complete forgiveness. If you're wondering whether or not you can forgive a spouse who is not engaged in helping you heal, this book will help you gain a healthy perspective of what to expect (and not expect).
View: Amazon linkKindle link

*How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair by Linda MacDonald
This short book is an excellent resource for helping guide an unfaithful spouse toward becoming a "successful rebuilder." It provides a great overview of the attitudes and actions that should be a focus of any spouse who has had an affair but wants to see healing come to his/her partner and marriage.
View: Amazon link | Kindle link

+My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
by Anne Bercht
A very interesting and helpful recourse, this is one woman's story of surviving her husband's affair and his declaration of "I'm not in love with you anymore." There are frequent references to her faith and Scripture, but any woman surprised by her spouse's infidelity will easily relate to the honest telling of the experiences written here. The author gives insight into the ups-and-downs of the 2 years following the affair, with additional comments added by her husband and teenage daughter.
View: Amazon link

*Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass
Glass scrutinizes affairs and offers well-defined guidelines, including tips for determining how vulnerable individuals and relationships are to temptation, and prescriptions for keeping relationships "safe," repairing betrayal-induced damages and recovering from the trauma.
View: Amazon linkKindle link

+Surviving an Affair by Harley & Chalmers
A Christian-based guide to understanding and surviving every aspect of infidelity—from the beginning of an affair through the restoration of the marriage.
View: Amazon link | Kindle link

*+Torn Asunder: Recovering From an Extramarital Affair by Dave Carder
There is hope for recovery from the devastation of extramarital affairs. Dave Carder, a pastor and counselor, provides an overall recovery process from sexual and non-sexual affairs.
View: Amazon linkKindle link

+Torn Asunder Workbook (for couples) by Dave Carder
To be used as companion to the Torn Asunder book.
View: Amazon link |Kindle link

*You, Him and the Other Woman: Break the Love Triangle and Reclaim Your Marriage, Your Love, and Your Life by Paul Coleman, PhD
An excellent overview of what a betrayed wife experiences with clear guidelines regarding choices that lead toward personal and relationship recovery.
View: Amazon linkKindle
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