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midwestgirl wrote:

 Yes, I agree. Sigh, that is the person I thought who I married....the one who would never inflict that kind of damage onto another (let alone his spouse). 

BS - Dday 9/2017

We all thought the exact same thing. You’re certainly not alone in your thinking. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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I agree with Keepabuzz. My WH actually told me he hasn’t been in love with me for over a year. But I also think he let that happen. All marriages go through up and downs. We had all of Gottman’s four horses: Criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. He is as much to blame for these as I. 
We could have gone to counseling, we could have talked to each other. But instead, his solution was to have an affair. Now, he’s in love/ limerence with her. He doesn’t want to be, and he’s trying to change his feelings. Meanwhile, I’m left waiting and wondering. 
Female BS
D-day January 1, 2018
Separated and getting divorced
Healing and Happier than ever
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I agree with Keepabuzz and T!
How do you do that to someone you truly love?  
And look them in the eye and say “I love you” while also saying it to someone else?  
Incapable of true, honest love or just a different kind of love?

Or just in love with themselves?
D-Day#1 Dec 19, 2017
D-Day#2 Jan 13, 2018
5 year “on/off affair”

Married 25 years, together 35
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