BeginAgain, thank you for sharing this.
My wife and I are in similar territory as you and your husband. Sure we have setbacks, but we are stronger now than we were before her affair. And there is a low-life piece of sh*t jack@ss who served as the catalyst for our change. I wish I had written a letter like this for cathartic purpose. I did keep a journal and it really helped me to unleash anger in a productive and private way. I have said it before, at the end of the day the most powerful response that a marriage can have towards the AP is apathy from the BS and rejection from the WS. I don't want him knowing that he shattered my world as I knew it nor do I want to point out that the havoc that he brought transformed my marriage into something stronger than before.
________________ Male BS D-Day 3.15.2017 Taking care of myself, as we all deserve to do. Encouraging all to bolster their: Emotional Health, Physical Health and Spiritual Health