Joss
Hi unfortunately im back for the past 2 months my husband was making attempt to work on our marriage and i was doing my part but still with some questions because i never really got the hole "story" of his emotional affar he just wanted me to forget about it. I tried to work on our marriage as well being that i don't want a divorce but i keeped feelimg him distant and not at all invested he would be their on day and pull away the next. We where even going to couples therapy. Well 3 weeks ago i took his phone away while he was on the roof cleaning the gutters he had it hidden in his car under his seat(talk about hiding) as soon as i opened it their it was his conversation with her from that morning. Before I confronted him i asked him how long had it been since he had talked to her and he had the nerve to say more than "2 months ago" im done with her. So then I showed him what o found and kicked im out the house again. I keeped his phone to see what else i found and i found other chatting apps he used to talk to other girls and send inappropriate pictures too.
I send this other chats to the "other person" and she "ended" all contact with him

Well now i feel like im back on squere one with all this i had to get antidepressants and anxiety medicine and slowely working on my self.

He on the other hand accepted the sexula addiction help our councelor offered but still hasn't made an appointment or anything he is also going through depression and anxiety. I want to help him and get my husband back but he is being very negative he says things to me like i dont want to be with you. I dont want to hurt you. I dont feel the same way. We both have changed alot. I dont know if i love you. I want to save my marriage. And i have shown him that im here for him. I dont know what to do or how to procced because i do want to save my marriage and i know i have to give him time but i want him to get help. Any advise would be greatly appreciated
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TimT
Joss wrote:
...I want to help him and get my husband back but he is being very negative he says things to me like i dont want to be with you. I dont want to hurt you. I dont feel the same way...

You cannot save this marriage on your own. He has to be willing to look at his "stuff" honestly, see it for what it is, take responsibility, work toward change, and be the one to make your relationship a safe place for you again. You cannot do any of those things for him. All you can do is invite him to do join you in the recovery work and leave everyone else out! 

If you haven't read the Wayward Spouse eBook, take a look at it. But since you've posted a lot here, you may have looked at it before. It's probably time to create some boundaries. You will not be able to trust him until he demonstrates a sincere willingness to do the things mentioned above.
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